Polaroids

compassion for today

2011-08-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It's the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. "
~ Frederick Buechner

all things

2011-08-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

This morning we are talking about Hadewijch of Antwerp. She was a mystic, a theologian (albeit by a different name) and a poet. I love hearing the voices of ancient women reaching to us through the pages of history. I treasure the voices we have as for every voice we hear, there are countless voices which remain silent. Hadewijch was a pretty amazing woman. You should consider checking her out.

All Things

All things
are too small
to hold me,
I am so vast

In the Infinite
I reach
for the Uncreated

I have
touched it,
it undoes me
wider than wide

Everything else
is too narrow

You know this well,
you who are also there

today i miss...

2011-08-04T08:53:00.001-07:00

My Joshua and our Millie-girl.
You can not really see the baby in the picture. The quality of the picture is a bit grainy. But I love the picture anyway....even more, who is captured in this picture.

For now, I will continue to drink my coffee and listen to my professor lecture on church history.

polaroids: friendship + chocolate cake

2011-07-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
~Henry David Thoreau

A little over a year ago, we moved home, to Texas.

We greeted our family and friends with hugs and the chatter of life that fills space and time together.

As we prepare for Boston, we are slowly saying our goodbyes. One-by-one. Friend-by-friend.

It is painful.

It is beautiful.

It is life together.

Last night, Josh and Millie and I got together with Whitney. She is originally a friend through marriage (that is yet another benefit of marriage, gaining new and wonderful friends) but truly a friend. Our evening together flew past as we talked and laughed and ate. Before I knew it, we were sitting outside in the stillness of night, lingering over conversation, playing with Millie and not wanting the night to end. It was a beautiful evening.

Cheers to Whit for remembering to take pictures.

i no longer pray for peace

2011-07-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

by Ann Weems

On the edge of war, one foot already in,
I no longer pray for peace:
I pray for miracles.

I pray that stone hearts will turn
to tenderheartedness,
and evil intentions will turn
to mercifulness,
and all the soldiers already deployed
will be snatched out of harm's way,
and the whole world will be
astounded onto its knees.

I pray that all the "God talk"
will take bones,
and stand up and shed
its cloak of faithlessness,
and walk again in its powerful truth.

I pray that the whole world might
sit down together and share
its bread and its wine.

Some say there is no hope,
but then I've always applauded the holy fools
who never seem to give up on
the scandalousness of our faith:
that we are loved by God......
that we can truly love one another.

I no longer pray for peace:
I pray for miracles.

summer is for reading

2011-07-07T16:09:00.001-07:00

Since I am officially on "Summer Break" I have a few books that I am reading. It seems that during the year, my book stack multiplies. I seriously have no idea what that pile beside my bed does while I am not looking.

Here are a few books I am reading/will read/hope to read in the next month or so of life. (We will see how far I get)

::Girl Meets God: On the Path to a Spiritual Life
Laura F. Winner
I started this book a couple of days ago and am finding myself pulled into the story of Laura's beautiful journey. This book is compliments of my friend Rashel. She gave to to me for Christmas. In fact her family's Christmas card is the perfect bookmark. I get to see their beautiful faces every time I open and close the book.

::Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
J.K. Rowlings
Joshua and I have been reading this series at night before we go to bed. We started in January with the Sorcerer's Stone. This is the first time Josh has read these books. I reserve the right to not say how many times I have read through this series. They are great little books. We love reading them together.

::Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
J.K. Rowlings
We will most likely begin this book after finishing the one listed above. We are just crazy enough to read books in their written order. I know, I know...we are nuts!!!

::Firstlight
Sue Monk Kidd
Earlier this year I inherited a stack of books. This book was an unexpected treasure in the stack.

::Getting Involved with God: Rediscovering the Old Testament
Ellen F. Davis
One might think that this books was part of the assigned reading for the OT course I just completed. But, does that seriously sound like something I would do...

::A Scholastic Miscellany
Eugene Fairweather

::The Protestant Reformation
Hans Hillerbrand

::A Dictionary of Latin and Greek Theological Terms
Richard Muller

::The History of Doctrines
Reinhold Seeberg
Since I know a few of you are anxious to rush out and find this book for your own reading, I will caution you that this particular text is out of print.

The last four books are part of a course on Medieval and Reformation Theology that I am taking as part of my Church History block during my break. Yes, I am that hard core...school during the break. (Or, by taking this class this summer, I will be able to graduate a year early...by my 65th birthday!)

What are you reading this summer?

june in review

2011-07-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I gave the blog a new look for summer. She has been wearing the same old look since spring and really needed a change. Or, perhaps I needed the change. In the midst of trying on new wallpaper, fonts, pictures, etc. I realized that I only posted twice in June. Geminie.

June was a fantastic month:

We celebrated Joshua's birthday!!!
Happy Birthday, Baby. I love you so very much!

We celebrated Father's Day with pretty much the greatest dad ever

Millie-Girl has been part of our life for over a month. In that time, we have gone to the vet for puppy shots. She learned to jump off of furniture and increase her mobility thereby keeping us on our toes. She has gone to the animal emergency room for ingesting poisonous food. This was a traumatic experience...I do not think she enjoyed it either. She has learned to jump onto furniture. Her Nina and her friend Bella taught her that new trick yesterday! Her coat has begun to change from black to a silvery charcoal. Our lives are not close to the same - we have become crazy, nutty puppy owners but we love her and love every minute of it.

I have completed another year of seminary. I am finished with my languages. There were moments that I was sure I would not make it. There were moments when I wanted to pull out my hair looking at all the funny squiggly letters and trying to decipher their meanings. I seriously could not have done it without Joshua, the best language tutor ever. It has been a long two years. I am finished. I am thankful.

I have a new phone. My old one has been broken for the last 1.5 years of our time together. There was a mutual dislike between us. Our time together ended amicably: I with a new phone and her, tossed in a drawer. I love my new phone. She takes pictures AND videos...mostly of Millie-girl. Then, she sends the pictures and video to my mother and Josh.

polariods: summer

2011-06-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

When I wasn't looking, summer crept up on me. Perhaps it was because Spring did such a fantastic imitation of summer. Alas, whatever the reason, I love summer.

Summer reminds me of being a child
~staying up late and getting up early
~spending weeks and weeks with my grandparents and getting eat ice cream, pop tarts, cherries, peaches, and watch television.
~the smell of sun block and the tired feeling that creeps up on you after swimming in the pool for hours on end
~Shorts and tank tops and swim suits
~It is yellow and orange and green and turquoise and coral
~Coke floats on long Sunday afternoons
~Sunglasses and french braids

In the summer, I always feel a like a kid. I love the summer!

"I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be."
- Madeleine L'Engle, A Circle of Quiet

the grape of wrath

2011-06-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Well I know it has been pretty quiet on 'ye olde blog' for the past week or two...it can not possibly have been three weeks...Could it? Nope...definitely not three weeks.

Forgive me for being absent.

I am at the end of the semester and you know what that means: every time I turn around there is a humongous paper trying to bite me in the butt. Papers are vicious like that. I am thinking of investing in one of those big metal trashcan lids to wear on my backside for extra protection.

Just kidding....

....kinda

Also, I introduced the whole world to our little Millie. We, the L-W's have been in puppy world. We just love our little puppy so much. We hold her and squeeze her and love her. She is not spoiled one bit. Not even a little. (Excuse me while I get up to fluff her pillow)

Truly, adding another member to our family has been an adjustment for us. But, we avidly over-process and that saves us in the end. Still being brand new puppy owners we are learning loads. Millie has taken on the rather large task of making sure we truly know everything we should about being puppy parents. She is one of those, 'Let me teach you by doing' kind of teachers so we are definitely on our toes.

For example:
Balls are super fun to play with but so are leaves, socks, and underwear.

If you leave your puppy alone in her crate to go and celebrate your husband's dinner, you should make sure she is not able to climb up the side of the crate and out the top.

Towels are fine for sleeping on but old cashmere sweaters are the best.

Plain yogurt helps puppies with digestive issues and is super-super yummy.

And grapes, as harmless as they look are poisonous. VERY VERY POISONOUS.

You didn't know that about grapes either? Well its true. You can just look it up and see how well dogs react to grapes.

Did you look it up? Yeah, it is scary. Very, very scary... Renal failure. That is serious business...

Oh you want to know how we came across this tidbit? Yeah...that is a story. So last night, after grocery shopping, my grandmother and Millie and I were putting away our groceries. It was hard work. Millie was checking the floor to make sure nothing had been left out and I was washing the grapes. One fell onto the floor in the transition from the bag to the colander. I thought nothing of it. I washed the grapes and turned around to find our Millie-girl finishing off a nice little red grape off. She waggled her tail at me and looked at me with a look that said, "Mom, I missed my nap while we were at the store. Can we nap now? I really really need my rest."

As we snuggled up for her to nap, I settled in to work on that big, long, dreadful paper when I was seized by this niggling feeling about the eating of grapes.

I am sure she is fine I thought...after all it was just fruit. But, we do not feed her people food. hum...well she has been a bit constipated lately...I wonder if this will make it worse? So, I did what any reasonable person would do - I Googled it.

.18 seconds later, my Google pulled up all these scary sounding hits about dogs and grapes. I read and read and read and tried not to panic. I called the vet. We talked. The nurse said she would be fine and to give her some food.

Since I am one of those calm, cool sort of people who is not prone to anxiously worrying, I sat arguing with myself for a four, long, agonizing minutes before I texted my mother. In the mean time, I decided that it was absolutely reasonable to call a different vet and ask for a second opinion.

I texted my sister. She goes to the most amazing vet. He seems to fully understand the family member status of Naki (Aleece and Matty's dog) and Bella (Momma and Dad's dog) I talked to his nurse, I told her what happened, I told her what Dr. L's nurse said, and she said what every concerned person in that situation wants to hear....

ohhhhh let me go talk to the Dr.

About 3.25789 second later, the Vet was on the phone with me. Asking questions and telling me how very serious it is to ingest grapes. He told me how to make Millie throw up and then gave me the number and address of an after-hours vet in the area.

I called Josh. I told him what was happening as I rushed our sweet Millie to the vet. Being the smart person he is, he called ahead and told them what was happening so that when I walked in the door they were ready for Millie and took her back immediately.

I sat in the waiting room and kept myself together. I was the picture of calm as I anxiously shook my foot and watched the second hand turn on the clock.

They checked Millie. the gave her something they call liquid charcoal and anti-nausa medicine and told us she had to wait until 10pm to eat or drink anything. Poor Mills, she was so, so thirsty.

We had a long, long night. We are watching her today to make sure she is ok. We are thankful for a proactive vet who paid attention to her size as he considered how much she ate.

And today, we are tired.

PS - I tried to get Millie to eat this morning since she did not really have dinner last night. I poured her food in her bowl. She looked at it, growled and barked. I wonder if she associates it with having to throw up...Oh poor sweet Millie.

"to share a cup of tea with me...

2011-05-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

...I'd take my puppy everywhere. La la la la I wouldn't care. And we would stay away from crowds, and signs that said no friends allowed. Oh we....we'd be so happy to be...together."
~Harry Nilsson

This song has been in my head for the past three days. I first heard it when I watch You've Got Mail a couple of years ago. And, by a couple of years, I mean probably 10. Oh my how time flies. Anyway, I hum this song whenever my heart longs for a puppy.

A week ago, my mom was visiting and she showed me picture of the sister to her friend's puppy. I fell in love. I think that got my longing started.

So, with out adeu, I would like to introduce you to

Millicent L-W
We Call her Millie!!!!!!
She is the softest, cutest, most loveable puppy ever. We love her lots!

Being a tiny little puppy she needs lots of sleep. But, she really likes being near people. So Joshua was laying down next to her carrier while she fell asleep. He is a softie. A few minutes ago, I went into our room at my parent's house and found him asleep next to Millie. It was quite possibly the sweetest thing ever....well, the sweetest thing this week.

I. am. SO. happy.

there and back again...or something like that

2011-05-28T06:15:00.001-07:00

You know it has been a bit too long since you have looked at your blog when you find yourself wondering what your blog background looks like. eek!

It has been since Mother's Day that I have posted.

Wow!

Did you miss me?

A longer post is due, but I am not quite there yet. Perhaps soon.

In the mean time:
* I went to Canada - we visited some lovely friends of my mothers and had the most delicious tea and dessert. We ate some other yummy things as well, but the almond flavored pastries have been visiting me in my dreams.

* I went to Michigan to get more wrinkles in my brain. (Does anyone else use that expression? Could it possibly be truth? My grandmother always says that learning new things give you wrinkles in your brain. I have always assumed it was one of those sayings - like when you make a face and your grandmother says you should be careful so that it doesn't get stuck like that.) I worked on the In-Residence portion of my never-ending M Div degree.

* I flew home.

* I did laundry

* I packed

* I went to Boston with Joshua

* We ate Italian food

* We found an apartment

* We spent time with friends and walked along the St. Charles River

* We ate Italian food

* We flew home

* I am exhausted....but, perhaps I should finish my sermon for Sunday...Just a thought.

In the mean time, I want to leave you with a quote a grabbed off a professor during my time in Michigan.

Enjoy!

Love,

Amy

In Reference to the Human Soul:
The word rebounded to me, and I wondered, as I often had, what it was exactly. People talked about it all the time, but did anyone actually know? Sometimes I’d pictured it like a pilot light burning inside a person – a drop of fire form the invisible inferno people called God. Or a squashy substance, like a piece of clay or dental mold, which collected the sum of a person’s experiences – a million indentations of happiness, desperation, fear, all the small piercings of beauty we’ve ever known.”
(Sue Monk Kidd, The Mermaid Chair)

por mi madre y mi abuela

2011-05-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

six things

2011-05-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

The Pioneer Woman created a random post of 6 things...I thought I would try it...

Ready or not,

Here it comes.....

1) I do not love making lists unless I need to seize control of life or a situation. Then, I make lists - many, many lists.

Currently I have 3 lists made and one in the works. I am sure you deep, psychological types can shed some light on this particular illness. I will only give you the practical, logical reasons...

I leave for Michigan on Friday...eek...for two weeks...eek.

Here is where I need your help - On my general To Do list, this is seperate from my To Pack list, my To Buy list, and my School Work to Complete list, should I include make brownies? In this moment this seems to be very, very important to me...

2) Coffee always tastes better when Joshua makes it. I have done hundreds of taste-tests and I can unequivocally vouch for this fact. I am, after all, an impartial judge.

3) I am growing herbs. I secretly want to be a gardener. I want to grow veggies and compost and do all those fun earthy things. I am just not certain I have the follow through for these activities. I am actually quite pleased that my Basil, Mint, Chocolate Mind (yes, that is a REAL herb) Parsley, Rosemary, and Oregano are still alive. I have a knack for killing plants. It is something of a talent.

But, it seems super amazing to plant a little seed, nurture, care for it, and then have it be a bunch of spinach on your plate one night for dinner...or green beans....or zucchini...ooo perhaps I should put make zucchini bread on my list of things to do as well.

4) If I get the chance, I will stay in my p.j.'s all day long. There is something absolutely luxurious and magical about being in your p.j's all day. I love it.

Yoga clothes are the next best thing. Usually they are a better bet as once I am in them,I am more than likely to work out.

I don't know why that is...it is just one of those weird things. Workout clothes actually encourage me to work out. I can come up with 1001 excuses for not changing but if I am already changed then I usually go for it.

5) We are moving to Boston.
More on this later. In fact, Joshua is working on a post for our family blog. It should be up sometime between ten min from now and July...

6) It is crazy, amazing, and weird to me how many random, quirky habits I share with people I am related to.

My sister and I are the worst - we have the same hair in decision - we actually share this with our mother. There are some people who are brave and will just go out and see anyone to do their hair. Nope...not for us. Our person needs to come with a recommendation from someone we already know who has hair that we like. Then we usually try to talk the other into going to the new person first.

We both have bed issues...My bed has to be made. Every day. The right way. Poor sweet Joshua, he had to learn how to make the bed after we got married. The covers have to be straightened just the right way. The pillows have to be plumped the right way. There are some mornings that are so crazy that we end up leaving the house before the bed is made. I will, no lie, make-up my bed even if it is right before I am about to get into it that night.

OCD...yes...I have always been like this.

Just ask my mother.

ALN - she has to have her sheets match her pillow cases. They can not go on the bed unless they match exactly.

Also, I sit....well, I perch... on the bathroom counter to put on my make-up. I have as long as I can remember. I will also do this to brush my teeth. I can not quite explain to you how I do this. I just do. This particular habit drives Joshua nuts. If he comes into the bathroom he will fuss at me about this because he is certain this is dangerous. I thought I was alone in this habit until a couple of years ago, a cousin posted a picture on her blog in which she too was perched on the bathroom counter putting on her make-up. (She was pregnant at the time...so crazy props to her and her balance)

So...yes...that was a little taste of me - 6 random thing for a Wednesday morning.

a prayer for the second week of easter

2011-05-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

Lord God Almighty,

You have given us a hope beyond hope:

You have conquered sin.
You have conquered death.
You have given us abundant life.
You have called us to build your kingdom.

May we bring forth light into the darkness of the world.

May we bring forth life every where there is death.

May we remember your resurrection and practice it every day:
our cross, our burden, is to bring abundant life to all.

Amen.

Taken from EveryDayLiturgy.

pop tarts...delicious goodness

2011-05-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

My mommy came to visit this weekend. She cooked. I would love to say that WE cooked. But, that simply is not the case. She cooked and I worked on Hebrew. I translated and parsed the book of Jonah until the world seemed flat and then I ate. I love it when my mommy visits! I am listing one of the recipes here so 1) I can find it later and 2) so you can make it too...if you so choose.

A couple of years ago PopTarts came up with a new advertising campaign. It was magical, whimsical and just plain fun. Every time this commercial played I was filled with instant happiness...joy. In fact, just between us, I might go through spurts of singing the tune to myself and dancing along. Listen to the clip below and tell me it is NOT instant joy.

You see? Joy. The problem is that I do not like PopTarts. They are overly processed, sugared and filled with articifical colors and flavors. BLEK. That does not sound tasty to me. But then, I found that Trader Joe's carried an organic, real fruit version. They are wonderful. Yes they still contain copious amounts of sugar but two out of three isn't bad for an occasional treat.

So, on the occasion that I eat one of these PopTarts, I might dance around the kitchen singing this song (and drinking coffee because a PopTart without coffee is like a brownie with out milk). It is blissful.

Yesterday, my mother made my life even better. She made homemade PopTarts. They are the most amazing food ever. Yes, the evoke LOTS of singing and dancing. I am sharing the recipe here because I know they will bring joy into your life too.

Homemade PopTarts
Recipe adapted from Sugarcrafter
It is no surprise that there are not any pictures. But ours look pretty much like hers...so if you need to see a picture, check out the other blog.

Ingredients
2c flour (consider White Whole Wheat)
1 Tbs Sugar
1/2 tsp Salt
2 sticks unsalted butter, cut into 1" pieces
1 egg
2 Tbsp milk
1 egg + 1/2 Tbsp water (to brush on pastry)

Fillings
I like preserves/jams...the all fruit kind.
I also thought about peanut butter and jelly

Directions:
Whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt in medium bowl.
Use a pastry blender to work the pieces of butter into the flour mixture.
In a small bowl, whisk together the milk and egg. Stir the egg mixture into the dough and knead lightly to incorporate. Divide the dough in half and rool out each half on a lightly floured surface to about 1/8" thickness.
Cut the dough into rectangles about 3x4".
Beat the additional egg with the water and brush it over the surface of the bottom pieces of dough. Place the tablespoon of the desired filling on the center of each piece of dough, adn then place another piece on top.
Use a fork to seal the edges
When ready to bake, preheat the oven to 350 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. prick the top of each pastry multiple times with a fork.
Bake 20 - 25 minutes or until golden brown.

polaroids: morning pleasures

2011-04-29T06:15:00.001-07:00

"The morning cup of coffe has an exhiliration about it which the cheering influence of an afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce."

~Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., "Over the Teacups," 1891

In full disclosure, I swiped this picture from the internet. But, you get the idea.

This morning I woke up at my parents house. It is always wonderful to hug my mom and dad hello in the morning.

Lavender scones topped with vanilla sugar. Delicious. There is simply nothing else to say.

Fresh, hot coffee. Joshua makes the best coffee in the world. I am serious. Come over and he will make a cup for you and you will quickly be won over. For the last few years I thought it was Joshua in combination with our fancy-schmancy coffee pot. But, no. Joshua made an amazing, delicious cup of coffe in my mother's coffee pot today as well. Seriously, life is good.

compassion

2011-04-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.” ~ Frederick Buechner

There are many things I could say on this subject. There are many things I have said on this subject. So, as Easter draws near. As we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord. I ask again that you consider the chocolate you purchase before you purchase it. Please buy chocolate that is Fairly Traded. Yes, that means that you may not get the cute bunnies. Please consider the children in slavery to pick the beans that are purchased by Nestle, Hershey, Dove, etc. Because, my friends, nothing say the Kingdom of God is coming, the Kingdom of God is here... Nothing says, Happy Resurrection, like chocolate harvested by little children in slavery.

Lord may the prayer of Frederick Buechner be the cry of my heart. May this be the cry of our hearts. I pray that we are truly changed and that we may seek to change this world. Come, Lord Jesus come...

polaroid: alive alive alive alive alive

2011-04-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I had to share this with you immediately.

After our chat last night, I decided to call my cousin. He knows infinitely more about computers than I. I ran though the situation with him and the options for breathing new life into my wonderful, beautiful computer-that-I-love.

After promising not to tease or mock me...at least to my face. We came up with an option for fixing my computer that I could afford. Apple, while wonderful, is not so nice in the instance of liquid spills. (I think the call it Apple abuse or something to that effect. EEK!!!!)

I sighed deeply and hoped-prayed something would work out. I really do love my computer. We really can not afford to purchase a new computer - mac or pc - for me at the moment. As we were chatting, B, had one more suggestion of something I could try on my computer....it was what one might call a 'long shot'. We acknowledged that this option most likely would not work. Seeing as how the water was on the inside of the computer...not the keyboard inside - but the bottom inside where all the important parts are located.

Still, I did what B said, talked the situation over with Joshua, and we went to bed. Content in the less expensive fixing option.

This morning, as Joshua and I were drinking coffee, answering e-mails and taking quizzes (respectively - you can guess who was doing which). Josh asked me if I tried turning my computer on yet. I replied nope. I confessed that I was more hopeful than I should be that my computer would work. (I could not help it. I just hold onto hope. Seriously, I cling to it sometimes.) I did not want to try to turn the computer on just to go through the 'let-down' again.

Still, I pulled up my big girl panties and went into the other room. I looked at the computer.

It looked back at me.

I reached down and pressed the on button.

It responded with its alive noise.

From the other room, Joshua heard the noise, walked in the sun room to check it out, to find me standing with my back to the computer. I told him I could not stand watching it try to load. I was already too excited.

Yes, my friends. It works. My wonderful, beautiful, computer-that-I-love works. It is just like it has always been.

I am:

Thankful
Grateful
Rejoicing
Speechless
Thankful
Thankful
Thankful

I am sharing the joy with all of you!

Love

Amy

PS - My wonderful, beautiful, computer-that-I love and I have talked. It will not longer be visiting the bathroom. EVER. Even if I am really, really, super tired. It is just too bad. I explained to her that she can no longer come. It is too dangerous. She was sad, but she understands.

Computers...you just have to watch them every minute.

the long slow death....

2011-04-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

...that was neither long nor slow.

Ok, I know I have been silent a while. I have been thinking. Studying. And, thinking some more.
I will have much to say in the next few days. But, for the moment, that is completely beside the point.

So here is how the situation went down.

Saturday night I did not sleep...much. Sleep and I have a tenious relationship at best. Insomnia runs in my Dad's side of the family - Thanks, Dad!

Sunday morning I woke up and needed to get ready for church. The problem was that I was tired. Really, really, really tired. I finally wanted to sleep. Still, I had to get up.

So I was in the bathroom, trying to get ready and moving at a mind-numbingly slow pace. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head - a brilliant idea...and inspired idea. Why don't I go get my laptop and put on an episode of Murder She Wrote - That will help me wake and so I can finally get this hair curled without giving my neck third degree burns that will look like hickies and make people think the pastors wife is a love-crazed teenager.

So I went to grab my laptop - the wonderful, beautiful laptop-that-I-love - and bring it to hang out with me in the bathroom.

This is the part of the horror movie when you want to scream at the girl and tell her NOT to go in the house. I promise this was that exact part of the movie. That poor girl gets a really bad wrap. In defense of that poor girl, she was probably sleep deprived. She was probably trying to get ready to go to church. It probably seemed like a stroke of brillance in that moment.

I will spare you the details (the retelling might make me cry all over again) but I will say....there was this glass of water. It met my wonderful, beautiful, laptop-that-I-love. They were not friends. My lap top has gone away.

I hope to find a wonderful, amazing, brilliant, computer person who can make my wonderful, beautiful, laptop-that-I-love better. I am not hopeful. Not at all. In fact, I will say it this way - I have not cried today.

lent 2011: rebirth

2011-04-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is good to remember that God loves us and believes in us. This poem spoke words of truth into my life today. It is my hope that it speaks to you as well.

Peace,

Amy

We are the locked door,
the stone not rolled away.
You invite us to cross through waters,
walk dry roads
look towards transformation
in every wilderness.

You believe we can.

We want other gods, other commodities--
depth without the daily searching.
You offer us a simple table
and the words, follow me.

You believe we will.

We choose a meager vision,
hold tight to the catch of our nets.
You tell a story that asks,
Which one was the neighbor?

You believe we understand.

We are perplexed
when you appear in our untended gardens.
You say, peace,
to all our uncertainty.
You show that new life
comes with time, with practice,
and the sowing, however small,
of stubborn hope.

You believe we will grow.

"Rebirth" by Keri K. Wehlander

Thanks, Spiritually Directed for sharing this poem with me....

lent 2011: a prayer for rising and going to sleep...

2011-04-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings Friends,

We find ourselves with the season of lent slipping quickly by. In so many ways, it seems as if it was just yesterday that we opened the dead places in our lives before God, were reminded we are but dust, and began a journey with God in this season of Lent.

Where ever you are on your journey this season, I offer this poem...this prayer to you today. I hope this poem speaks words of life into your spirit and you find yourself offering it back as a prayer.

A PRAYER TO BE SAID UPON RISING
AND AGAIN UPON GOING TO SLEEP
Jan Richardson

It's hard to keep the eyes clear
when the live
so close to the brain,
where circuits spark with information
piled up for processing
and thought-lines clog with questions
that play hockey between one's ears
in the dark hours.

I know of no substitute
for the work of cleaning out the crap;
no alternative
to the struggle for focus;
no tools other than
shovel and pickax,
backhoe and plow.

When I am lulled by the urge to settle,
dubious of my own desires,
it helps to breathe
until I find my point of resistance,
to listen beneath the fears
to the questions below the questions,
those messengers that run
barefoot till bloody,
leaving their scarlet map
painted in the dust.

It can also be told this way:

Wisdom and Courage are lovers.
Their secret is that their dwelling has no lamps.
At sunset they say a prayer
that in the night
their ears hands noses tongues
will tell them what they need to know.

At sunrise they say another prayer:
that their vision will not depend
merely on what the daylight reveals.

The neighbors find them odd,
but their children --
Compassion, Integrity and Hope --
have learned the wonder of
a heart unhiding itself,
coming as gift
to our deepest eye.

within this strange and quickened dust

2011-03-22T17:19:00.000-07:00

Photo taken by Laura J. Ryan

O God, within this strange and quickened dust
The beating heart controls the coursing blood
In discipline that holds in check the flood
But cannot stem corrosion and dark rust,
In flesh’s solitude I count it blest
That only you, my Lord, can see my heart
With passion’s darkness tearing it apart
With storms of self, and tempests of unrest,
But your love breaks through blackness, bursts with light;
We separate ourselves, but you rebind
In Dayspring all our fragments; body, mind
And spirit join, unite against the night.
Healed by your love, corruption and decay
Are turned, and whole, we greet the light of day.
~Madeleine L’Engle

love still wins...always...period...the end

2011-03-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

My Dear Friends,

Eugene Peterson put into words many thoughts I have been thinking and quite a few thought I wish I had been thinking. The manner in which many recent conversations have been taking place grieve my heart. I suspect they also grieve the heart of Jesus...but, I suppose that is for him to say and not for me....

Click Here to read Peterson's article...but in the mean time...I will leave you this quote.

Luther said that we should read the entire Bible in terms of what drives toward Christ. Everything has to be interpreted through Christ. Well, if you do that, you’re going to end up with this religion of grace and forgiveness. The only people Jesus threatens are the Pharisees. But everybody else gets pretty generous treatment. There’s very little Christ, very little Jesus, in these people who are fighting Rob Bell.

Whether you read Peterson's perspective or not....whether you agree or not....my deepest desire that we are all known by the words of love and life that we speak. But in the mean time:
love still wins.

always.

period.

the end

amen

flowers

2011-03-13T19:47:00.001-07:00

Early in our relationship, I came home from work, walked up the flight of stairs to my little white porch and found a bunch of sunflowers resting against the door waiting for me to come home. They were kept company by a short note containing the details of an upcoming date.

Filled with delight, I took them inside, trimmed their stems and placed them in the bay window in my kitchen. Every time I looked toward my kitchen, I smiled. And, since that apartment was a little studio, I noticed the flowers quite a bit. That was, until, they began to wilt, and droop, and die. Then I grew sad. Very, very sad.

Perhaps I had other things going on in my life. Perhaps I was hormonal. I do not quite remember the exact reason, but I cried as I threw them away. Poor Josh. He was so thoughtful. He knew I loved flowers. He knew I was captured by the whimsy of their bright color. He knew their beauty brought a smile to my face. He realized while I love to receive flowers and find great joy in their presence, they ultimately depress me.

The next time he gave me flowers, they were potted. I kept them until we moved and then gave them away.

I realize that this emotion may seem strange to some...ok, many. It is for that reason that this is one of the lesser known facts of Amy. Anyway, earlier today, I was watching an older movie: Any Wednesday. The main character summed up my emotions exactly. I was delighted by her speech. I captured it to share with you.

Enjoy...Loves

Ellyn: I don’t like flowers…Real ones anyway. You see I don’t like to watch them die. You know what I mean.

John: No

Ellyn: You see I have plastic ones at home. That way I don’t have to watch them die. Then I can have Chrysanthemums in July and Jonquils in winter. I buy them in Bloomingdales and tie them up.

John: You see flowers cheer up a room.

Ellyn: No, not for me they don’t. I’d like a room full of balloons. That’d be gay wouldn’t it?

lent 2011

2011-03-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

The Bible is alive, it speaks to me; it has feet, it runs after me; it has hands, it lays hold of me. ~Martin Luther

biblical hebrew...

2011-03-11T12:45:00.000-08:00

...will be the death of me.

...participles to be specific...

I am quite sure of this fact....well, reasonably certain.

I suppose this has been enough of a break.

If you do not see me again, you will know what happened.

The End.

love, marriage, and a testimony to my poor singing

2011-03-08T06:46:00.000-08:00

So, true confessions:

Growing up I liked to watch I Love Lucy. Perhaps it was because their humor fit my own. Perhaps it was because of the fun clothes they wore or the impossible scrapes she found herself in. Perhaps it was because it was summer when I was watching the show and that meant no school and time with grandparents. (The let us watch WAY more TV than my parents) There was something captivating about Lucy and Ricky for me. They were a picture of a different time.

I am quite certain I have seen all of the episodes even if I do not remember them all. But something about the episode below has lodged itself in my memory. Particularly the song sung by "Mother." Occasionally this song wells up inside of me and I sing it to Josh...he has never quite understood. So I found a clip on YouTube and played it for him. I think it is important for one to have a frame of reference. A starting point from which to understand life. He loved it. Ummm...yeah. He loved it.

What is uncanny is that other than the age of this woman, we could pretty much be voice twins. It is scary how alike we are when we sing. I suppose all amazing voices sound similar.

So, skip to about 9:22 and enjoy a song of love!

a quiet prayer

2011-03-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

"Oh Lord, endow me with more contentedness in what is present,

And less solicitude about what is future;

With a patient mind to submit to any loss of what I have,

Or to any disappointment of what I expect."

-Bishop Simon Patrick, 17th century hymn composer

This post was borrowed in large part from Spiritually Directed. She has a great blog. Check her out.

polaroids: a message of kindness

2011-03-02T17:10:00.000-08:00

Today has just been one of those days, a hard day...connected to a hard couple of days - a day that pulls at your heart and pinches the soft, sensitive places in your spirit to the point that you notice little tears in the corners of your eyes. This day has been the elephant sitting on my chest - ya know, just for kicks - and constricting my breathing. It has been one of those days when you want to throw up your hands and say...seriously? Are. you. kidding me?!?!?! But, simply do not have the strength or force of will to do so because your spirit is just too tired.

Yes, it has been one of those days for the past few days.

And, in the middle of all of this, I am reminded of what sweet, dear people God has placed in my life. People whose presence is more of a gift...a glimpse of the grace of God, if you will, than they even know. Several people have let me know in different ways that I have been on their hearts and in their prayers. WOW! How did they even know...? Yet, they have been with me in spirit and praying on my behalf... and I am just undone.

A few minutes ago my sweet grandmother and I were chatting. Today is her 85th birthday...and speaking of gifts, that is a gift. It is a blessing to share this birthday with her. She is a treasure and I love her so much...more than words could express. So I will not even try.

As we finished chatting I received a text from my good friend, R. "How fun!" I thought. R never texts. She is a pretty busy woman as the mother of 4 little ones. Most of our conversations take place in snippets through out a day, on the computer.

As I opened up her text she said:

At Lowes. Soul Sister song just came on. Made made think of u - I think u sang this song with my kiddos while at our house. Thinking of you.

Why do I share this text with you, word for word?

Don't even lie. I know you are asking yourself that very question.

I share this because her kind words hit my heart. I felt loved and remembered. And, in that moment, I was instantly reminded of the gift of friendship. I was reminded that being human means we reach out to one another, in big and small ways. And, in our reaching out we are the hands and feet of Christ, we are the warm embrace of God, we are the loving words of the Spirit...even it what we do seems trivial...even if we do not even know it.

So, I share this song with you...I send it out as a message of love...esp to all my sister friends. You are a gift to me.

Of course I share the Glee version because it is just too much fun. I don't even watch Glee...but I think their cover is great. Listen, enjoy, and in the middle of this silly song, may you remember you are not alone. You are loved. I hope in some strange way it inspires you to share words of kindness with others. Yes, I know this is not a traditional inspirational type song, but I happen to think unexpected inspiration is the most fun.

friendship

2011-02-27T17:23:00.000-08:00

"Friendship is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love."

H. Nouwen

Lately, I have been reminded...again and again and again...what a true, dear friend I have in Joshua.

I am thankful.

Wherever life takes us, I am glad to be going there with a friend.

all my favorite people

2011-02-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

This song is on the new album from Over the Rhine. Have I mentioned how much I love them? I seriously love Karin and Linford. This song has been playing in my head for the past week...pretty-much since I first heard it.

Listen to it, allow the words and melody to seep into your heart.

Warning: the picture isn't great. There were simply not many YouTube choices.

cheers
a

PS - The lyrics are amazing. Read them below.

All My Favorite People

All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know

Some prayers are better left unspoken
I just wanna hold you
And let the rest go

All my friends are part saint and part sinner
We lean on each other
Try to rise above

We’re not afraid to admit we’re all still beginners
We’re all late bloomers
When it comes to love

All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know

Orphaned believers, skeptical dreamers
Step forward
You can stay right here
You don’t have to go

Is each wound you’ve received
Just a burdensome gift?
It gets so hard to lift
Yourself up off the ground

But the poet says, We must praise the mutilated world
We’re all workin’ the graveyard shift
You might as well sing along

All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know

(As for) your tender heart—
This world’s gonna rip it wide open
It ain’t gonna be pretty
But you’re not alone

‘Cause all my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know

Orphaned believers, skeptical dreamers
You’re welcome
Yeah, you’re safe right here
You don’t have to go

‘Cause all my favorite people are broken
Believe me
I should know

Some prayers are better left unspoken
I just wanna hold you
And let the rest go

if only i could have a puppy

2011-02-15T18:15:00.000-08:00

So, a day or two ago Josh asked what I wanted for Valentine's Day. This is because he is a sweet and thoughtful husband....loving and kind. And perhaps because he knew I already bought his gift.

I looked over at him and replied, Seriously?

Yeah, he said...what do you want?

I looked into his beautiful blue eyes - The eyes I first spotted 1/2 way across a restaurant although I did not care to admit it at the time because I was too busy pretending he did not exist. Eyes that can make me melt into the tiniest puddle on the floor. Oh yes, I looked into his eyes, smiled and said, "I want a puppy."

I even had visual aids...

How can you say no to this one...he looks like he might have just finished doing something naughty.

Or this one...she is adorable. You just can not say no to that face...Even if she might have finished shredding a blanket only moments before...

Or this one, she I think I am more physically fit just looking at her.

We had a lovely day.
A most wonderful day.

I did not get my puppy....

Then end.

you're my funny valentine

2011-02-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

Sweet, comic Valentine, you make me smile with my heart

Your looks are laughable, un-photographable, still you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek, is your mouth a little weak

When you open it to speak, are you smart?

Don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me; stay Funny Valentine stay

Each day is Valentine's Day.

you might be procrastinating when...

2011-02-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

You check The Pioneer Woman's website for the 1,001th time because you are convinced your twitter is broken and you are not getting her tweets. (Yes, I have been obsessed since I read excerpts from her book. Crazy obsessed. I know way more about her sweet Basset Hound Charlie than I should. And yes, I still want a dog!!!! Josh are you reading this? That last one was for you, honey.
You decide it is absolutely necessary to file your fingernails and clip your toenails. Yes, yes. This one is TMI...but you have to admit, unless you are one of those obsessed-with-your-feet people, the freezing-cold winter is not exactly the time when one worries about making sure her toenails are in tip-top, ready to-be-seen-by-the-world shape.
You consider organizing the to be filed and to be shredded mail. Mind you I said consider. I am not procrastinating enough to actually organize it. They are still safely in their neat piles.
You make dinner from scratch and then decide to make a chocolate cake to go with it. It was wonderful. It was fantastic. It was better than I dreamed by looking at the picture. I will post the recipe because I am quite certain you will want to make it immediately. I did not take a picture. It is pretty much gone. (And, we all know that I am a slacker picture taker. I really needed my mother to make this cake as well so I could just swipe...ahem...borrow her picture)
You decide to iron your Sunday morning clothes at 6pm instead of right before bed.

So yeah I have been in full-on procrastination mode. I have no real reason for this. I will blame it on the cold. Everything is the fault of the cold.

Oh...you say it has warmed up considerably? Hummmm....

I will blame it on the ever changing weather....yup. thats it.

Mystery Mocha
taken from The Pioneer Woman's Tasty Kitchen

Ingredients:

¾ cups Granulated Sugar
1 cup Sifted All-Purpose Flour
2 teaspoons Baking Powder
⅛ teaspoons Salt
1 piece Unsweetend Chocolate (1 Square) I will confess and I will not lie, I added more chocolate than the recipe called for. It was good.
2 Tablespoons Butter
½ cups Whole Milk
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
½ cups Brown Sugar
½ cups Granulated Sugar (additional)
4 Tablespoons Powdered Cocoa (Not Drink Mix)
1 cup Cold Strong Coffee Think take the lining out of your stomach strong.

Directions:

Sift together 3/4 cup sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Melt square of unsweetened chocolate and butter in the microwave. Add to dry ingredients alternately with the milk and vanilla. Blend. Pour into a greased 9×9 pan. I let the batter rest for a few minutes and it responded well.

Combine brown sugar, the 1/2 cup additional granulated sugar and cocoa powder. Sprinkle over the cake batter. I thought this part was weird. But I trusted the recipe and it worked nicely. Pour the one cup COLD coffee on top. This will look TERRIBLE. Bake 350 degrees for 40 minutes. So you are in a little bit of a pickle here because you do not want to over-cook this one and it will never come out 'clean.' Shoot for not too jiggly. This is everyone's least favorite response...but you will have to intuit.

Serve warm with ice cream or sweetened whip cream or whipped topping. This will serve 8/9. Best served warm. It is pretty tasty cold as well...or try it at room temperature. Don't be shy. It is delicious.

journeying

2011-02-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken last July in CA as we headed up into the Lake Tahoe area. It is a piece of the continuing journey of the L-Ws

Somewhere in Peru. The definition of a winding, wandering road. It is something like life.

Blessings:
May your longings lead you far and farther still toward the place where your desire can only be met by God. May your hungerings bring you home by another way.

Jan Richardson

snowpocalypse and cinnamon rolls

2011-02-07T07:10:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday and Friday, we had "snowpocalypse 2011" (East Texas Style). It was cold and snowy and icy and terrible. Entire sections of freeways closed. Schools dismissed closed their doors and boarded their windows. We all stocked up on canned good and bottled water because we knew the end was, indeed, near.

Please translate that into: cold for us, snowy for us with all of our 1/2 in of snow, and icy for us...which means there was actually some ice.

Thursday night I instructed Josh that he really really really really should leave work at 3 to make it home before the "snowpocalypse" hit. I did not want him on those icy treacherous roads with all the other Texas crazies who think because they have seen White Christmas or The Night They Saved Christmas, or really any movie set in a snowy, arctic tundra, that they have the necessary skills to drive in the snow. It is like people in LA with the rain. Run. Duck for Cover. Hide. Be VERY Afraid.

Secure in the knowledge that Josh would be home soon, I set out to make a large pot of veggie chili and corn muffins. Nothing says "Hello Winter" like chili.

Friday Morning I woke up to a white-ish and wonderful world. I knew that we would not be going anywhere and I suddenly had a desire for home-made, oven-fresh cinnamon rolls. YUM. I might have also been avoiding Hebrew...just a little bit. Avoidance...always the best choice. My mother sent me a recipe from Paula Dean that she said was easy and delicious. I set out to make them.

HOURS and covered with flour later, they were made, cooked, and delicious. SO. SO. SO delicious. Like, I could not stop eating them good. As in, I considered eating the whole pan. As in Josh - who does not care for cinnamon - said they were hands-down the BEST cinnamon rolls he had ever in his life tasted.

Make them, Eat them, Love them. But be warned, they are crazy addictive when they are warm.

Paula Dean's Super-Amazing, Delicious, Addictive, Time-Consuming Cinnamon Rolls

Ingredients

Dough:

1/4-ounce package yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup scalded milk
1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup butter or shortening
1 teaspoon salt
1 egg
3 1/2 to 4 cups all-purpose flour

Filling:

1/2 cup melted butter, plus more for pan I used 1/2 stick. It was MORE than enough. Don't tell Paula Dean. This will be our little secret.
3/4 cup sugar, plus more for pan
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
3/4 cup raisins, walnuts, or pecans, optional I am only including this to be faithful to the recipe. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not ruin your good cinnamon rolls with gross, disgusting raisins. You will be sad. You will be sorry. You will do all that work for nothing.

Glaze:

4 tablespoons butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 to 6 tablespoons hot water

Directions

Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water and set aside. In a large bowl mix milk, sugar, melted butter, salt and egg. Add 2 cups of flour and mix until smooth. Add yeast mixture. Mix in remaining flour until dough is easy to handle. Knead dough on lightly floured surface for 5 to 10 minutes. I set a kitchen timer and went to town. Place in well-greased bowl, cover and let rise until doubled in size, usually 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

When doubled in size, punch down dough. Roll out on a floured surface into a 15 by 9-inch rectangle. I have never in my life been able to roll dough into a perfect circle much less a rectangle. Don't sweat it. Just think rectangle-ish. Spread melted butter all over dough. Mix sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over buttered dough. Sprinkle with walnuts, pecans, or raisins if desired. Beginning at the 15-inch side, role up dough and pinch edge together to seal. Cut into 12 to 15 slices.

Coat the bottom of baking pan with butter and sprinkle with sugar. Place cinnamon roll slices close together in the pan and let rise until dough is doubled, about 45 minutes. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nicely browned. Do not under any circumstances bake these for 30 min. They will be charred if you do. After 15 min, begin checking them until they are just brown. They will be done and wonderful. PLEASE TRUST ME!!!!

Meanwhile, mix butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla. Add hot water 1 tablespoon at a time until the glaze reaches desired consistency. Spread over slightly cooled rolls.

As you admire my beautiful cinnamon roll picture. It is my mothers. I ripped it off from her blog because I forgot to take pictures of mine. Mine look just like hers only I used a square pan and cut mine a little bit smaller.

polariods: how we spend our days...

2011-02-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

“Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard

This quote has been at the front of my mind lately. Sometimes it seems as if the L-Ws are in some sort of holding pattern as we wonder together where we will live this time next year? We wonder what the rhythm of our lives will look like? I can not help but wonder how my days will be filled...and with what? Yes, you have caught me, I am something of a planner.

As I have wondered aloud and in my quite space, Annie Dillard's quote has pushed to the front of my mind. Every time I turn around, it is there.

So I ask, How am I spending my life? How are you spending yours?

It is easy to look forward to this point in life or when that thing, event happens. But that is not exactly the state of things. So, as I look at my life today...this week...this month. I can not help but wonder how my life is being spent?

This line of questioning reminds me to live intentionally. As my friend Malia says, To see each day, every moment as a great gift.

So with all that in mind...here are a few Polaroids from the last few days...

My sister came to visit....my sister came to visit....my sister came to visit!!!! We ate delicious homemade cheese and veggie pizza. The cheese was special for her as she does not get all excited about the veggies that I seem to love. In fact, mushrooms scare her. But still, my grandmothers food processor made the very best pizza crust. WOW. Amazing. YUM. Have I mentioned that I LOVE homemade, warm gooey pizza fresh out of the oven. I love it. It is also great fresh out of the fridge, cold. Yes, I have a problem.
We also played Spinner - a domino game. She won. She always wins. It is like her extra special talent. She has many but this is one of them. It was seriously amazing, every time she had to draw from the bone pile, she wound up with the domino she needed. Sista has skills.

An impromptu date with my sweet husband. Who ends up having a date at a wonderful Italian (ish) place on a Tuesday evening? Yes, that would be us. We ran errands all afternoon and then decided to eat out. At one of my favorite places in The Woodlands. I know this will shock many of you, but I am food picky. There are not many places I like to eat. In fact, there are very few places that I want to spend money for food. I usually think I could make it better. If I had anticipated this in advance I might have primped a little more when I got ready that morning. But, we are living in the moment. Anyway we sat near the fire, talked, drank a glass of wine and got drunk on the company of the other.

These are truly some of my favorite life moment. These are the pictures I would like to save.

sometimes i feel like...

2011-01-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

...THIS

prayer for peace

2011-01-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

A timeless prayer for peace. The world would be a different place if this were truly the prayer of our hearts and the acting point of our lives.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
~St Francis of Assisi

sometimes I just want to eat the chocolate cake out of the bag...

2011-01-26T17:42:00.000-08:00

...it has been a long couple of days.

This afternoon my grandmother came home from the hospital. It does not seem to be a 'big serious', but hospitals are just not the place we want her to hang out. Check the list your mom had when you were growing up...hospital is somewhere between liquor store and the pool hall. (Ok, busted, I wasn't that kid. I don't even know where kids shouldn't be hanging out...)

I feel the stress my body has been carrying slowly relaxing...melting away. With the dissolution of stress, I find I am tired.

I should change the sheets on our bed.

I should do a load or two of laundry.

I should work on the paper that is due or Saturday.

Instead, I just want to eat a couple of bites of chocolate cake, out of the zip lock bag because I just do not want to wash the plate when I am done.

polaroids: smiles, chatter, and cribbage

2011-01-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

"the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all"

- Frederick Buechner

* the warm smile of my sweet grandmother. She has the most lovely smile. Truly, you should only be so blessed to experience it in real-live person. Every time I see the lines etched on her face, I see beautiful marks of joy and sorrow from a life well lived. She had a scary bout with low blood pressure that gave me quite a fright. We spent the better part of yesterday and today in the hospital.(Yes, I become a bit more British when I have had a scare...)

*After church chatter - One of the church communities I am a part of, has a time for coffee and fellowship after the worship service. This community if full of life, spirit and love. It is always so fun to lead worship for them. Perhaps it is different for others, but I am never quite sure how sermons have gone after I have preached them. For me, it is as one wise pastor friend said to me - "well, ok, it is what it is." Yes, W, for me as well. Still, this Sunday the after worship chatter was conversation about the sermon. Wow! That truly blessed my heart.

* Playing cribbage with Joshua. Our friends the Youngsleys gave us this game when we were married. Our friends the Book-Satterlees taught us how to play it. We are in-love. We picked it up for a fun date on Monday night. When we lived in CA, we would play and eat coffee ice cream. There is something fun and familiar about coffee ice cream and cribbage. We did not have any the other night, but when I was out at Target today, I passed the ice cream aisle...and...lets just say there is a pint of coffee ice cream in our fridge.

amy vs the grocery store (aka i miss tjs)

2011-01-19T09:07:00.001-08:00

Hello Again,

I am back from the snowy, icy, tundra that is the land of Michigan. I am back to the beautiful land of Texas where you can see the green of grass. (And by green, I mean brownish yellow with not that much green) I am back to the place where you can see the leaves on trees. Naked trees are nice when they are covered with snow and can be enjoyed from a distance but, I prefer trees with leaves. I am back to the place where you do not hope, pray, bargain with God so that the wind does not blow while you are out. In some places the wind has tiny invisible knives that cut through layers of clothing, skin, muscle and pierce your bones so that they ache. This is not my idea of fun. I am back in Texas.

This morning I seem to have had a revelation. Not a big one. Not the kind that registers on the revelation scale. Just a small, Amy sized revelation. It seems that for one to be able to cook, one has to go to the grocery store. I know, shocking. Perhaps one day I can meet up with a grocery store fairy godmother but until that time I am S.O.L. I just do not like to go to the grocery store. The are busy and crowded. They are filled with aisles and aisles of products that are icky and gross. They are filled with preservatives and artificial nonsense that no one in their right mind should eat or ever feed their children. They simply do not evoke warm happy memories. I blame my mother. She does not like to shop either.

About this point, if you are still reading with me, you might ask:

What is the point?

Why is this a revelation?

I woke up this morning and with a desire to make a large pot of lentil soup. YUM!!!! I love lentil soup. What is not to love? Lentils, carrots, potatoes, celery....It is warm, comfortable, and delicious. Throw in a piece of crusty bread and we have a meal that I could eat for DAYS in a row. DAYS. After breakfast, I began to pull out what I needed to make lentil soup and realized that we did not have an onion. Oops. An onion is absolutely necessary for this recipe as with most recipes. There are many things one can substitute around in a recipe - just ask my grandmother, she is an expert. But an onion is a staple. As I looked at the fridge in defeat, I realized with a sinking feeling that I would have to go to the grocery store.

Blek.

You have already heard my feelings on grocery stores.

If you have been reading along with me for any length of time, you might remember a day in the not to distant past that I used to like to cook AND shop. You might remember all the amazing meals Joshua and I would make and eat.

So, what is the difference?

Well, since you asked. Once upon a time...not so long ago. I lived in a wonderful magical place. I know it was wonderful and magical because it had a grocery store called Trader Joes. I liked to shop there. Their food was yummy and wonderful. I would get excited to go shop there. Josh would take me on dates to grocery shop there. We would wonder the aisles to discover new products, we would linger in the produce section debating which veggies we wanted to cook as I bargained with Josh promising that we would indeed consume the fresh produce before it wasted. I would plan my week around when I would get to grocery shop. Yes, it was a magical wonderful place.

We moved away from the magical store and are stuck with normal stores. These stores have stupid magazines in their check out lines instead of fair trade chocolate bars. These stores have plain old normal employees instead of happy, chatty Hawaiian shirt clad employees. These stores do not have a parrot to hunt for or delicious samples AND coffee to enjoy while you shop. The world is just not the same.

So, in a little while, I will put on my big girl pants and go to the store to buy an onion and other items. I will inwardly cringe and hope to get in and out as quickly as possible. All the while, I will think of my wonderful, magical place.

2011-01-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

Picture from Kris Cahill's blog

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

- Thomas Merton

An interesting, apt, thought which reminds us to examine the way we love others and begs the question of whom we most love.

Thanks Jes K-K for this today.

1.11.11

2011-01-11T20:00:00.001-08:00

I am still in Holland, MI.

It.is.still.snowing.

It is cold and beautiful.

I feel like I live in a snowglobe and I simply can not stop staring.

The world feels just a little more quiet and looks a little more beautiful.

I love it.....until I go outside.

and, then I realize it it cold.

I am tired, it is almost the end. I miss my husband. I am tired.

So, for now -

Happy January 11, 2011 or 1.11.11

celebrations

2011-01-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

The 10th Day of Christmas

Today is the first day of the WTS Winter Intensive. It is good to meet up with colleagues, old friends, and catch up on the joys and pains of life. I find that so much life has happened since last May.

The first day of the intensive is always a seminar...and today's topic is Recovery Ministry and dealing with addiction. Really important, heavy, challenging... We, the church, have to do better.

As I sit, listen, and reflect, as I hold the joy of Christmas in my heart and walk into this New Year, I offer this poem from Ann Weems. My hope is that I...we...love and live as the hands and feet of Christ, that as we live and love, that we continue to weep and laugh.

In the godforsaken, obscene quicksand of life,
there is a deafening alleluia
rising from the souls of those who weep,
and of those who weep with those who weep.
If you watch, you will see
the hand of God
putting the stars back in their skies
one by one
Yesterday's Pain
Some of us walk in Advent
tethered to our unresolved yesterdays
the pain still stabbing
the hurt still throbbing.
It's not that we don't know better;
it's just that we can't stand up anymore by ourselves.
On the way of Bethlehem, will you give us a hand?

Not celebrate?
Your burden is too great to bear?
Your loneliness is intensified during this Christmas season?
Your tears have no end?
Not celebrate?
You should lead the celebration!
You should run through the streets
to ring the bells and sing the loudest!
You should fling the tinsel on the tree,
and open your house to your neighbors, and call them in to dance!
For it is you above all others who know the joy of Advent.
It is unto you that a Savior is born this day,
One who comes to lift your burden from your shoulders,
One who comes to wipe the tears from your eyes.
You are not alone,
for He is born this day to you

Ann Weems

2011-01-02T18:07:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and it was snowing...SNOWING

Hello, Michigan. It is nice to spend another January with you. I suppose snow, wind, cold, and ice are just part of the deal.

I am THANKFUL that God is doing some sort of miracle inside of me because the snow and cold and wind did not make me nearly as miserable as it might have in the past. Hummmm...unexpected changes in 2011.

Welcome, Winter Intensive 2011.

You have already brought joy, laughter, great conversations, and dear, dear friends - and you do not officially start until tomorrow.

I can only imagine what else you will bring.

For now, I am determined to grab hold of life and enjoy it.

So, I say....

Welcome

its not over

2010-12-28T12:11:00.000-08:00

3rd Day of Christmas

Picture taken by tracamiller and posted at The Pioneer Woman

It looks like the last few days of Advent, Christmas Eve and Christmas day have completely passed me by. Somewhere in there, my sweet grandmother has been in and out of the hospital, I have helped to lead worship in three services and have preached a sermon. Life has been busy but is filled with unexpected blessings. I will try to get some of my polaroids up from Christmas...soon.

For now, I will leave you with a poem that has been playing at the corners of my minds all through this Christmas season. It is written by Ann Weems and can be found in her book Kneeling in Bethlehem. You should check it out. It is a treasure. If you would like a taste, click here.

"It is not over,

this birthing.

There are always newer skies

into which

God can throw stars.

When we begin to think

that we can predict the Advent of God,

that we can box the Christ

in a stable in Bethlehem,

that's just the time

that God will be born

in a place we can't imagine and won't believe.

Those who wait for God

watch with their hearts and not their eyes,

listening

always listening

for angel words."

- Ann Weems

advent - christmas is coming

2010-12-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness,

send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.

To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!" Amen.

Henri Nouwen

advent - the great paradox

2010-12-17T05:08:00.001-08:00

"This morning I saw the country from my window a long time before sunrise," the artist wrote to his brother Theo, "with nothing but the morning star, which looked very big."

Polariod: This morning I awoke far before I usually get up, while the world was still wrapped in the darkness of night. I plugged in our Christmas Tree, brewed coffee, wrapped myself up in a blanket and sat on the sun porch to watch the darkness. I could the Christmas tree of our neighbor across the fairway lit as a joyful reminder of the season. But, the rest of the visible world was dark. If I had no concept of time, I would not have known that in only a short time, morning would break forth.

Is that similar to Advent? ...a period of time where the darkness was lifting but the people who did not have a clock did not realize morning was about to break through. This season I have been struggling to encapsulate the beautiful paradox of this season which reminds us of the beautiful paradox of that which is God's kingdom...the now, but not yet...the coming but already here. The lovely poet Michelle Blake captured the essence of this in her poem:

"One of the essential paradoxes of Advent:

that while we wait for God, we are with God all along,

that while we need to be reassured of God's arrival,

or the arrival of our homecoming,

we are already at home.

While we wait, we have to trust, to have faith,

but it is God's grace that gives us that faith.

As with all spiritual knowledge, two things are true,

and equally true, at once.

The mind can't grasp paradox;

it is the knowledge of the soul."

Michelle Blake

advent - coming

2010-12-15T05:22:00.000-08:00

The Third Wednesday of Advent

Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus

Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

Born thy people to deliver, 
born a child and yet a King, 
born to reign in us forever, 
now thy gracious kingdom bring. 
By thine own eternal spirit 
rule in all our hearts alone; 
by thine all sufficient merit, 
raise us to thy glorious throne.

With our hearts open and our eyes wide in expectation we cry 
Maranatha, Come, Lord Jesus.
This is the cry of the ages, Come, Lord Jesus.
We are waiting and longing for you to appear once again.
But, as we long and wait, we continue your work,
that 'the will of God be done on earth as it is in heaven.'
And we work, because we met you and have been changed.
This season of Advent and Christmas reminds us of the
Incarnation - for when you came the world was forever changed.
So, we groan along with the world saying, Come, Lord Jesus.

food lust

2010-12-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

Things one should keep in mind before I write about food...
1) I am Vegetarian
2) I have high food standards...I like organic, non-processed, etc.
3) I eat like a bird (literally)
4) I usually crave sweets but salty and savory have been what I have wanted lately

I think that is probably enough of the list...not that there aren't many other things to know, but that seems like enough for now.

So, all of that said, I love to read food blogs. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to read food blogs. Recently, i have been overtaken by food lust. For your reading and cooking enjoyment, here are a few objects of my current desire.

Spinach Soup with Gruyere - The Pioneer Woman
I love the color green spinach turns when it is liquid. (Yes, I am one of those crazy nuts who drinks green smoothies b/c they have spinach and is in heaven.) For that matter, I love spinach and cheese. They are one of those perfect combos. My side note is that I would combine milk with silken tofu to add some protein into this dish.

Cranberry Orange Brie Crostini - Two Peas in their Pod
Crusty bread + cranberries + brie +pistachios = a winning combination. A never realized I loved pistachios until a couple of years ago when I was given a bag at work. I politely thanked the person for giving me nuts and then set them aside. One afternoon I ended up with the hungries and decided to try a few. After all, nuts have protein. WOW! I was hooked. I love those little green guys.

Garlic Butter Roasted Mushrooms - Smitten Kitchen
I am not even sure if there is anything more to say. Just go look at the picture and you, too, will fill find that warm, happy feeling.

Sweet Potaotes and Pecans with Goat Cheese - Smitten Kitchen
Sometimes I think I could live off of goat cheese. I blame this on my parents. I have not done the research about pregnancy eating and taste bud development but I will say that I love cottage cheese and tomatoes with a little pepper as well as goat cheese. YUM!!! Sweet Potatoes are a brand new love.

Seitan Holiday Roast - VegWeb
This one looks interesting, it is a high protein main dish and I really want to try it. I just need to hunt down all the ingredients.

Empanadas al Horno - An Opera Singer in the Kitchen
I have never made anything like this but they look delicious.

So, here is the deal, if any of you make any of these recipes....please, please, please take a picture and post a comment of how you thought the recipe tasted.

polaroids: love, marriage, and family

2010-12-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

On Friday we traveled to Ft. Worth, TX to celebrate the wedding of my cousin, April. In my family, there is nothing like getting together and spending time together...and celebrations are the perfect excuse. =) I want to include a few pictures from the wedding that I snagged off of April's fb page. They tell the story much better than I could.

The moments before a wedding between mother and daughter are wonderful and tender. My Aunt Linda is a most dedicated mom as well as the ultimate planner. She pretty-much saved the day at my wedding. She is quite a special woman. I love the expressions captured in this picture.

My mother, posted on this picture as well...but both April and My Uncle David were captured glancing over at Aunt Linda. I can not imagine the the emotions of love that swell in a woman as she looks at her most lovely daughter on her wedding day. I can not imagine volumes that are communicated in the knowing glances between a husband and wife, the parents of the bride, on that same day. They are plain, and simple some of the rich moments of life.

My sweet uncle is not much of a dancer, yet he did a wonderful dancing with April after he gave a speech that brought tears to the eyes of everyone in the room. What the camera did not capture was another moment between the parents where they quietly danced with one another in the back of the room. I could not help but wonder if it was one of those moments of grace when married people rest into one another.

And then there are a few 'Polaroids' not captured in pictures...

Laughing and chatting with Aleece & Matt, Joshua, and my Parents as we caught-up and cut-up a little pre and post wedding. One never quite knows what will happen when we get together. (Aleece is clearly the photographer of the family as she remembered her camera, I will have to beg her for some pictures from this weekend.)
The food line was really long and I spied Matt up close to the front of the line, I scooched in close to him, giving him a hug and shamelessly cutting in front of a whole host of people. I figured that there is a little grace for married people holding a place for the other and the other people in the line did not know we weren't married. It would have worked perfectly except for the fact that Aleece, the real wife, did the same thing a couple of minutes later. Oops! That is what one might call being busted.
Dancing with Joshua. I love dancing with him. He is quite a good dancer, I, on the other hand, am not. So he will count in my ear to help me out and then when he gets tired, he twirls me around - i like this best. I am not quite sure what we look like to others but I always have such fun.
Getting together with my cousins and my uncle Jon for some post-wedding fun. We stayed up entirely too late but had great fun talking, laughing, and sharing life. We do not always have a chance to get together but it is such fun when we do.
Wearing a brand new dress that I loved. It is not too often when I have a dress that I love but I loved the dress that I wore to the wedding. I am now looking for an occasion to wear it again. All invites are welcome.

advent - the end is the beginning

2010-12-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

The Advent mystery
is the beginning
of the end
of all in us
that is not yet Christ.

- Thomas Merton

advent - angel filled advent

2010-12-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

The Second Wednesday of Advent

"Wouldn't it be wonderful
if Advent came filled with angels and alleluias?

Wouldn't it be perfect

if we were greeted on these December mornings

with a hovering of heavenly hosts

tuning their harps and brushing up on their fa-la-la's?

Wouldn't it be incredible

if their music filled our waking hours
with the promise of peace on earth

and if each Advent night we dreamed of nothing but goodwill?

Wouldn't we be ecstatic

if we could take those angels shopping,

or trim the tree, or have them hold our hands

and dance through our houses decorating?

And oh, how glorious it would be

to sit in church next to an angel

and sing our hark-the-heralds!

What an Advent that would be!

What Christmas spirit we could have!

An angel-filled Advent has so many possibilities!

But in lieu of that,

perhaps we can give thanks

for the good earthy joys we have been given

and for the earthly "angels" that we know

who do such a good job of filling

our Advent with alleluias!

Ann Weems from Kneeling in Bethlehem, p. 16

advent - the king is coming

2010-12-07T05:30:00.000-08:00

The Second Tuesday in advent

I am quite certain that I have made no secret about the fact that I am in love with the music from Over the Rhine. They never quite make it down this way, so I've only seen them in concert once...in LA. It.was.amazing. They are even better in concert. I have posted one of their songs and lyrics below because I have been meditating on this song along with my advent readings this mornings. I hope the words and notes drift into your spirit and spark a new sense of awe, wonder, and joy for you this morning.

For the past few days...possibly a week...I have been thinking about the now-but-not-yet aspect of the Kingdom of God. We reach back to the incarnation, we reach forward to the wedding feast but we live in the middle place. The place that is not either but very much both. The place were Jesus said to us, keep doing my work and I will come back soon. Keep doing the work of bringing the Kingdom of God. We some times call this proclaiming the Kingdom of God. This works too but when we say proclaiming we sometimes get confused and begin to think of our job as solely town crier. You know, we just want to tell people, talk at them, 'proclaim.' I did not live in 'Olden Days'....'the days of Yore' but for my money I would have found the town crier to be annoying. I mean sure it is fine when someone runs through to let you know the British are coming, but I imagine them as commercials. So I imagine I hear 'Toilet Paper 2 pence' or something to that effect. Still, I imagine that you might be something like me in that you do not care to be talked at either.

And, Proclamation is not about the words we say, it is a way of life that says "OUR KING HAS COME, REJOICE" We live differently because the King has come and surprised the human race. We live differently because he is coming and his 'final aim is to fill with joy the earth that humankind all but destroyed.' That is our proclamation. That is how we live. We live in joy, we take our joy into the world, where ever we go. We proclaim along with the angels, and the shepherds, and the very stars in the sky "The Good News of Great Joy for ALL PEOPLE."

So, the honest to goodness truth is that I am writing about this and thinking about this because the holiday season is busy. My calendar has far too many appointments and deadlines filling it. I am easily crabby, short, irritable, and altogether rushed. And in the middle of all of these emotions, I am quite certain that what ever piece of joy is inside of me is not at all evident to the world around me. I am thinking about these things because I want to live differently, I want to live so that others see that there is Good News of GREAT JOY. For my money, this might be the greatest crime of the Christmas season, that we are simply too busy to be joyful...that we are too busy to share our joy.

My friends, my prayer is that we slow our spirits down and allow the joy of this season to fill our lives. My prayer is that in the middle of everything that is to be done, that we take a fraction of this GREAT joy with us and share it and live it.

the Trumpet Child - Over the Rhine

the Trumpet Child

The trumpet child will blow his horn
Will blast the sky till it’s reborn
With Gabriel’s power and Satchmo’s grace
He will surprise the human race

The trumpet he will use to blow
Is being fashioned out of fire
The mouthpiece is a glowing coal
The bell a burst of wild desire

The trumpet child will riff on love
Thelonious notes from up above
He’ll improvise a kingdom come
Accompanied by a different drum

The trumpet child will banquet here
Until the lost are truly found
A thousand days, a thousand years
Nobody knows for sure how long

The rich forget about their gold
The meek and mild are strangely bold
A lion lies beside a lamb
And licks a murderer’s outstretched hand

The trumpet child will lift a glass
His bride now leaning in at last
His final aim to fill with joy
The earth that man all but destroyed

advent - here is our king

2010-12-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

Second Monday in Advent

If we wish to make any progress in the service of God we must begin every day of our life with new eagerness. We must keep ourselves in the presence of God as much as possible and have no other view or end in all our actions but the divine honor.

-- St. Charles Borromeo

Isaiah 35:1-10
The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad,
the desert shall rejoice and blossom;
like the crocus it shall blossom abundantly,
and rejoice with joy and singing.
The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,
the majesty of Carmel and Sharon.
They shall see the glory of the Lord,
the majesty of our God.

³ Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
⁴ Say to those who are of a fearful heart,
‘Be strong, do not fear!
Here is your God.
He will come with vengeance,
with terrible recompense.
He will come and save you.’

⁵ Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
⁶ then the lame shall leap like a deer,
and the tongue of the speechless sing for joy.
For waters shall break forth in the wilderness,
and streams in the desert;
⁷ the burning sand shall become a pool,
and the thirsty ground springs of water;
the haunt of jackals shall become a swamp,^*
the grass shall become reeds and rushes.

A highway shall be there,
and it shall be called the Holy Way;
the unclean shall not travel on it,
but it shall be for God’s people;
no traveller, not even fools, shall go astray.
No lion shall be there,
nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it;
they shall not be found there,
but the redeemed shall walk there.
And the ransomed of the Lord shall return,
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain joy and gladness,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

I love music. I love worship with music. I love when worship music and scripture intersect. It seems that this song captures the joy of the prophet Isaiah. Our King is coming! Humankind and the divine are uniting in the person of Jesus and as a result, everything is different. Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

Here is our King - David Crowder

advent - the root of Jesse shall come

2010-12-03T06:10:00.001-08:00

The first Thursday of Advent.

7Romans 15:7-13
Welcome one another, therefore, just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. ⁸For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the circumcised on behalf of the truth of God in order that he might confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, ⁹and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written,

‘Therefore I will confess^* you among the Gentiles,
and sing praises to your name’;
¹⁰and again he says,
‘Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people’;
¹¹and again,
‘Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles,
and let all the peoples praise him’;
¹²and again Isaiah says,
‘The root of Jesse shall come,
the one who rises to rule the Gentiles;
in him the Gentiles shall hope.’
¹³

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

advent - peace on earth

2010-12-02T06:18:00.000-08:00

During the seasons of Advent, Christmas and Epiphany we seem to think a little more about peace and silence. We sing a song about a silent, holy night where all was calm and bright as we bid the Christ child to sleep in heavenly peace. This familiar song usually evokes memories of countless Christmas Eve services when the song is song in complete darkness except for the candles held by the parishioners. I have always loved this part of Christmas Eve, the once-again freshness of the Incarnation, walking out into the dark, and sometimes cold evening with intermingling feelings of peace and hope and Christmas.

Peace...

What does this word evoke for you?

Do you think of a quiet, holy, somber-like stable?

Or perhaps the song of the angels to the shepherds who said, "Peace on Earth and goodwill to all people."

Or perhaps you think of simply getting 5 minutes alone to yourself to simply think...

I have been thinking quite a bit about this word/concept/idea/greeting the last several days. And. whenever I think about this I can not help but remember the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

There is something about this prayer that speaks of Advent to me. As I wait for the forever peace that is coming, I know that I am called here, now, today to be an instrument of peace and love in the world. That as I prayed the Lord's Prayer last night, I prayed that God would bring his Kingdom here on earth in fullness. But, if the Incarnation means anything then I know that the process has already begun. If it means anything then I know that signing up to be a Christ-follower means that I want to help to bring the God-peace to the earth. This peace that is deeper than a calm moment, this peace that seeks to love when given hatred, pardon when injury has been given, bring light where there is darkness, joy in immense sadness, and hope in the midst of despair. But, isn't this exactly what Jesus did? Isn't that how he lived when 'the word became flesh and moved into our neighborhoods?' St. Francis continues his prayer and basically says that we do these things and more because they have been given to us. We reach out to the world in great love because we have been loved greatly.

But my friends, I can not help but wonder if there is something greater, bigger, that we are to be part of...not to say that loving our neighbor is not a big thing because it is huge. But Psalm 34 says, 'seek peace and pursue it.' We are to chase after peace, to look for it, not so much that we achieve a lofty place of quiet but so that we share peace with others who search for it. Peace is more than an ideal, more than a Christmas song, more than for just a few. Many in the world do not have peace.

One of my favorite Advent/Christmas songs is by the musical group U2. It is probably not the song most think of at Christmas time but this time of year always brings this song to my mind.

Heaven on Earth, we need it now
I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Sick of sorrow, sick of the pain
I'm sick of hearing again and again
That there's gonna be peace on Earth

Where I grew up there weren't many trees
Where there was we'd tear them down
And use them on our enemies
They say that what you mock
Will surely overtake you

And you become a monster
So the monster will not break you
And it's already gone too far
You say that if you go in hard
You won't get hurt

Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line
Peace on Earth

Tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth

No whos or whys
No one cries like a mother cries
For peace on Earth

She never got to say goodbye
To see the colour in his eyes
Now he's in the dirt
Peace on Earth

They're reading names out over the radio
All the folks the rest of us won't get to know
Sean and Julia, Gareth, Ann, and Breda
Their lives are bigger than any big idea

Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line
Peace on Earth

To tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth

Jesus and the song you wrote
The words are sticking in my throat
Peace on Earth

Hear it every Christmas time
But hope and history won't rhyme
So what's it worth
This peace on Earth
Peace on Earth
Peace on Earth

This song, like St. Francis' prayer reminds me that peace is bigger. That Jesus came to bring "Peace on earth and goodwill for all people." So again, we ask ourselves, what does peace mean to us? Where do we see it? Are we part of bringing God's peace?

turn the world red for 2015

2010-12-01T05:53:00.000-08:00

This morning I awoke, curled into a ball and nestled down in my covers. Last night was the first freeze of the year, just in time to welcome December. This is pretty big news in Texas, we do not freeze as often as some who live in colder climates...and I am quite certain that it will be much warmer in a week. So, for now we will enjoy our cold.

Today is the 1st Wednesday in Advent. We celebrate with joy and longing. We celebrate with hope...having hope and bring hope.

First Coming
by Madeline L'Engle
He did not wait till the world was ready,
till (humankind) and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great,
He dined with sinners in all their grim,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

Today is also World AIDS day. It is tempting to put on rose-colored glasses during the Christmas season. To see the world as bright beautiful and wonderful. It is easy to get stuck in our own little bubbles humming familiar Christmas tunes as we move through the season. But, this complacent apathy completely misses the point of the season. We can not and should not delude ourselves by thinking all is right with the world. God broke in and came because things were very, very broken. God came in flesh as Jesus to bring hope and healing when we were sick and in darkness. Is the right response to shrug our shoulders and make a passing, wistful comment about heaven? Jesus came and changed everything. He came not to be like us but so we could be like him. This means we live differently. We care differently. Our priorities change and shift and we care very much about the here and now. Jesus healed the sick and brought sight to the blind, he healed the leapors, and then forgave sins. The season of Advent is the perfect time to get involved. As we reach toward the future and we long for the day when ALL will be right, we act as the hands and feet of Christ here and now. We bring hope and healing just as we were brought hope and healed.

Every day, 1,000 children are infected with AIDS. The goal of the Red Campaign is that in 2015 that number is 0. Check our RED here. Get involved. Starbucks is donating .05 for every handcrafted drink purchased today. If you are a regular, go and get some coffee. Also, Check out World Vision. Find a place and a way to get involved. Jesus came when the world was silent to bring hope and life. Kingdom Living is when we too bring hope and life to a silenced world.

snapshots of a day

2010-11-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

*leftover beans and rice in a warm tortilla for dinner. It was simple, exactly what I needed, and I ate it standing over the stove.

* A warm hand-me-down sweater. I rescued this sweater from my sister's give-away pile a few years ago and we are in love. It is the perfect sweater on a cool night. The sleeves are extra long which add an extra cozy element to the sweater. My winter clothes have been packed away at Josh's parents house and we just brought them home with us. It was kinda like Christmas because I felt like I had all new clothes even though they were already mine.

*An encouraging conversation with my mentor. She truly has been an unexpected blessing in my life these past few months. I am so, so thankful.

*The perfect travel coffee mug for hot tea on cold days. This mug was a gift from Josh and it is perfect. As surprising as this might seem, I can be a bit picky...ummm...discerning - yes, that is the word - in areas of food. This travel mug is ceramic because I think plastic and metal make the beverages taste funny. Yes, it is probably just me. But, I really like my mug on a crisp day.

advent - the longing and the living

2010-11-30T06:37:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that we hear the message of Christmas in spite of ourselves - in spite of the busyness and the to-dos, in-spite of our calendars pulling us in, in-spite of the trite versions of carols running on a constant loop in every store we find ourselves shopping.

The carols reach out to us and remind us of the message of Advent, the season that surrounds the holiday of Christmas. The carols remind us that we live in a 'Middle Place.' We reach back into the past and celebrate the Incarnation, the amazing moment when "God became flesh and moved into our neighborhood." We reach forward in longing as we wait for him to come again. But, in the mean time, we are invited into Kingdom Living - a living that models to the world what it will be like to live in the new kingdom, a radical living that loves our neighbor, prays for our enemy, turns the other cheek, speaks out for the poor, oppressed, and downcast, and seeks the peace of God in all circumstances. This, my friends, is Christmas.

In advent we see how being human is a good thing. Jesus, permanently altered his existence to put on skin and become fully human all the while being fully divine. The word became flesh, and blood, and bone, and spirit. As George MacDonald reminds us, Jesus came in a human body not so that he would be like us, but so that we would be like him.

My prayer is that we open our hearts and our ears as we sing. My prayer is that the words of the songs become our prayers that guide us as we live into a new year and that the longing we experience draws into a deeper, richer living as we become more human...more like Jesus the Christ.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel
Translated: John Neal, 1818-66

Oh, come, oh, come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

Oh, come, our Wisdom from on high,
Who ordered all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

Oh, come, our Dayspring from on high,
And cheer us by your drawing nigh,
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

Oh, come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Oh, bid our sad divisions cease,
And be yourself our King of Peace.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

O Come, O Come Emmanuel
Sufjan Stevens

Not the most traditional rendition of the song, but something his interpretation of this song seems to capture the longing and the rejoicing of Advent.

chocolate mint chip cookies

2010-11-29T17:34:00.000-08:00

I think this might be one of my new favorite cookie recipes. They are soft and chocolaty and taste like Christmas.

Make and enjoy!

Chocolate Mint Chip Cookies
This recipe has been adapted from Two Peas and their Pod

3/4 cup white flour
1/2 cup whole-wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
2/3 cup dutch-process cocoa-make sure to use dutch process for a rich/dark flavor
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cubed and room temp
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/3 cup milk
1 egg
1 bag of mint chip/dark chocolate combo

Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F and line baking sheets with silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

Whisk together flour, salt, baking powder and cocoa, and set aside. Beat the butter on medium-high until light and add sugars, creaming well. Add the vanilla and beat until smooth. Beat the egg and the vanilla together. Add the flour mixture in 2 batches, alternately with the milk in one batch, mixing well. Stir in the mint chips. Chill dough for at least 15 minutes. You can make the dough a few hours or 2 days before baking and it will be fine. Just wrap it up and keep in the fridge.

Scoop the dough onto a parchment- baking stone, and bake for 10-12 minutes…for a normal size cookie. Let the cookies cool completely on the cookie sheet, they will set up as they cool. Store in an air-tight container, they will stay fresh for a couple of days.

'advent'

2010-11-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

Advent

Charm with your stainlessness these winter nights,
Skies, and be perfect!

Fly vivider in the fiery dark, you quiet meteors,
And disappear.
You moon, be slow to go down,
This is your full!

The four white roads make off in silence
Towards the four parts of the starry universe.
Time falls like manna at the corners of the wintry earth.
We have become more humble than the rocks,
More wakeful than the patient hills.

Charm with your stainlessness these nights in Advent, holy spheres,
While minds, as meek as beasts,
Stay close at home in the sweet hay;
And intellects are quieter than the flocks that feed by starlight.

Oh pour your darkness and your brightness over all our
solemn valleys,
You skies: and travel like the gentle Virgin,
Toward the planets' stately setting,

Oh white full moon as quiet as Bethlehem!

Thomas Merton

1946

the waiting begins

2010-11-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

He will come like last leaf's fall.
One night when the November wind
has flayed the trees to bone, and earth
wakes choking on the mould,
the soft shroud's folding.

He will come like frost.
One morning when the shrinking earth
opens on mist, to find itself
arrested in the net
of alien, sword-set beauty.

He will come like dark.
One evening when the bursting red
December sun draws up the sheet
and penny-masks its eye to yield
the star-snowed fields of sky.

He will come, will come,
will come like crying in the night,
like blood, like breaking,
as the earth writhes to toss him free.
He will come like child.

Rowan Williams
Archbishop of Canterbury

The waiting begins.
....o come, o come, Emmanuel

happy thanksgiving

2010-11-25T19:57:00.001-08:00

Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. ~A.W. Tozer

A few snapshots from our thanksgiving celebration.

Happy Thanksgiving,
With Love,

The Amy and Josh

The Family that eats together, cleans together.

Josh's mother always sets a lovely table.

Glimpses of the bounty before the feast began. This year we had everyone's old time favorites (Turkey for the meat eaters, sweet potato casserole, squash casserole) and brand new favorites (roasted greenbeans and carrot parsnip soup). Delicious.

being human

2010-11-10T11:56:00.000-08:00

Occasionally I ask myself the question: "What does it mean to be human?" I think this is an important question to ask regularly. We have to intentionally stop, look around, and notice humankind. We have to embrace the humanness in ourselves and continue to ask, what it means in the first place. I do not ask the question as often as I should. I do not look for the answer as I seek to live and be alive. This, of course, is the trap...that we forget to ask the question at all, we sometimes forget we ARE human. We have been made as human. Jesus was human - fully human. (We do not always like to think about that fact, but our feeble ponderings do not change it.)

Today I was reading from Madeline L'Engle and she reminded me...so I share her reminder with you...

"Jesus was a story-teller. Indeed, according to Matthew, he taught entirely by telling stories. One of the great triumphs of Satan has been to lead us to believe that 'story' isn't true. I don't know if all the facts of the story of Joseph are true, but it is a true story. That is very important to understand. Jesus did not tell his parables in order to give us facts and information, but to SHOW us truth. What is the truth of the story of the man with the great plank in his eye? Doesn't it tell us very clearly that we mot not judge others more stringently than ourselves? And Joseph's story tells us much about what it means to be human. More important than whether or not Potiphar's wife actually tried to seduce him is the truth of his integrity in refusing to betray his master. Story is the closest we human beings can come to truth. God is truth. God is beyond the realm of provable fact. We can neither prove nor disprove God. God is for faith."

there is great value...

2010-11-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

...in the history of our faith as it allows us to lean on and borrow from the men and women who have gone before us.

Our Lord God
we have no idea where we are going.
We do not see the road ahead of us.
We cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do we really know ourselves,
and the fact that we think we are following
your will does not mean
that we are actually doing so.
But we believe that our desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And we hope that we have that desire
in all that we are doing.
We hope that we will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And we know that if we do this
you will lead us by the right road
though we may know nothing about it.
Therefore we will trust you always
though we may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
We will not fear.
For you are ever with us,
and you will never leave us
to face our perils alone.

~ Thomas Merton

Thanks, JKK...I have completely borrowed this from you. One of the great pleasures of being at WTS has been the friendship we now have with you and Jes.

all saints day

2010-11-03T18:16:00.001-07:00

Yes, this post might be coming your way a day or two late. I had every intention of writing it last week and time-delaying the post...but, with a semester ending and two papers looking at me, that simply did not happen. I know, it is shocking. Somewhere in all the birthday festivities, I did not manage to get a post together. Which leaves us at Wednesday night...

Growing up, this was not a recognized part in our faith tradition. Yet, this is a beautiful holiday. On this day, November 1, we remember those we know and love who have departed. As a community we come together to remember, celebrate the lives, mourn the loss we feel, and laugh as we share memories. It is a community celebration...remembrance.

For All the Saints (selected verses)

For all the saints, who from their labors rest,1
who thee by faith before the world confessed,
thy Name, O Jesus, be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Thou wast their Rock, their Fortress and their Might;
thou, Lord, their Captain in the well fought fight;
thou, in the darkness drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

ut lo! there breaks a yet more glorious day;
the saints triumphant rise in bright array;
the King of glory passes on his way.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

into the mystic

2010-10-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. I love my birthday. I think I always have...I can not remember a birthday that I did not love.

Last year was one of the most fantastic birthdays I have had yet, Josh gave me tickets to see the Swell Season in concert. There is a story behind this band for us but that is a story for a different day. It was a fantastic concert...one of the best shows I have been to. I have been thinking about them and their music tonight and I thought I would share a song with you. It somehow seems fitting as I begin the next year of my life...

cheers!

Amy

i might have mentioned this before...but, i love autumn

2010-10-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

NOTE...I did not take these pictures.

For the last few weeks, I have been meaning to gather a list of a few things I love about Autumn. It is, after all, my most favorite season.

So here goes...this list is by no means exhaustive but simply meant to represent a few of the many lovely qualities of the season with which I have a love affair.

...here are a few things that I savor during this season as it is something like a fine wine and should be sipped slowly so that every last drop is enjoyed.

leaves that change colors gradually and slightly (I live it Texas, we do not go for the big, dramatic show of flashy color here. We are all about the subtle. Still, I was walking yesterday morning with my mother and Joshua and kept seeing pops of red on the trees we passed. Fall leaves are seriously better than Christmas decorations. )
pumpkins
gourds - the funny shaped ones that I never know what to do with and always end up purchasing and filling baskets with them. I love their odd shapes, haphazard colors, and funny looking lumps and bumps. They make my heart happy.
a purple witch's hat with black tulle. This might be specific to a holiday in THIS fall.
scarves - it is true that I wear them year round so it is something like cheating but I simply do not care. I love them. They are me.
boots
mornings, crisp with the cool bite of autumn. Again I live in Texas and it heats up to 85 during the day but the early mornings are such that I wake up feeling chilly and immediately snuggle into my husband to get warm.
baked apples - it is like apple pie for breakfast except not so sweet, crustless, and warm. But pretty much the same.
halloween - true, this is my birthday so I am biased but I seriously love the holiday. dressing up, pumpkins, candy, laughter. I love it!
tea, hot herbal tea. I should qualify that I mean tea kettle tea. There is a HUGE difference when the water is heated on the stove to when it is heated in the microwave. And bonus, the teakettle sings you a song when the water is warm. I miss my tea kettle, it was a lovely green color and was given to us when we got married by our dear friend Kyle. It is packed away at the moment and I miss it.
orange - as in the color. Fall colors are my colors but I am especially in love with the color orange.
soups - I take any excuse to make soup it is the most amazing meal invention ever. One bowl encompasses all the color and flavor a person could ever want. Top top it off, it can be paired with a slice of crusty bread or cheese bread and is absolutely heaven.
October...as in the month. Everything wonderful happens in October. It is my magical month. I was born, we remember my grandfather on his birthday, I got married... October is glorious, I wait for this month all year.
pumpkin bread, banana bread, zucchini bread - oh my ;)
scarecrows - I passed 3 yards decorated with these odd little people and I felt the joy bubbles growing in my stomach. I find their name to be something of a misnomer...look at them they are happy and simply can not help but sharing their happiness with one and all.
long sleeved shirts and sweaters.
we got married in fall with our family and friends gathered around in celebration
Thanksgiving - family, friends, football (for joshua) and a holiday that reminds of gratitude which we are probably lacking.

I know I have not listed all the loves of autumn...what about you, what do you love?

2010-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

"The love for equals is a human thing - of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing - the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing - to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy-love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain The tortured love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world."

Frederick Buechner
The Magnificent Defeat

on our second anniversary

2010-10-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

This morning two years ago, I woke up alone. (Well mostly alone except for two good friends and one amazing sister) Two years ago the people we love most in the world gathered together at a little place in Willis, TX and took part in promises we made. Two years ago we laughed and celebrated life and love together, not because it is something that is always neat, beautiful, or magical but because we know ultimately "love never fails." We know this because we have been loved with a great and scandalous love; therefore we can love. We ate cake, danced the night away, kissed our families and while people were throwing paper at us and drove away.

I will not lie to you - I can be an oopy-goopy romantic at times but we truly live with an extra-healthy dose of realism. The whole "two becoming one flesh" thing is hard it isn't for the faint of heart or wimps. At times it hurts and is painful, at times you cry and you die to yourself again and again. This does not work if you are one to stubbornly "hold to your guns". It does not work, if you need to always be right or if you are unwilling to feel like you are always giving 100%. These things are not love and they do inhibit the becoming of one flesh. I a quite certain we will never get it perfectly. But there is no other person I would choose for this journey.

What better day to ruminate over the promises you have made than your anniversary. We wrote ours....this if for you Joshua, with love from me.

I covenant with you to be your wife
I offer you my love and my support throughout all our lives
I commit myself to spending the rest of my life sharing myself with you, as we grow together and learn from each other.
Through out our lives together, I will be, to the best of my ability, Christ to you...walking with you in times of joy and laughter and in times of tears and sorrow.
Just as we have devoted ourselves to serving others for Christ's sake, so I pledge to serve you in humility and love.
I give myself as I am, and as I will be, to you, as long as we both live.

Random fact about us....
* We have lived in three different houses in three different cities in two different states.

autumn....hello october

2010-10-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

I woke up the other morning and there was a nip in the air. I would have thought my mind was playing a trick on my body but the room was just a little colder. It was true, a touch of Autumn had finally arrived. It was not 85 degrees in the morning. It was cooler. I love this time of year, I seriously wait for it to arrive for an entire year. Spring, Summer, and Winter are great but Autumn is my favorite. There is no other season like it. The world is crisp and cool, the colors burst with the warm glows of orange, yellow, red and then brown. Autumn is filled with the smell of spices and the taste of soups. The days grow shorter and night grows longer. The leaves from the trees slowly fall from to cover the ground and are occasionally blown around on a windy day. The is the season for hot tea and apple cider. This is the only season that I decorate my house. The holidays in Autumn, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. There are pumpkins - beautiful, orange pumpkins - round happy friends. I love pumpkins. LOVE THEM.

So, I say welcome Autumn. Welcome October, beloved of all months. Here are my moments of celebration this past week. May this season be a time of reflection you all and filled with the joy of family and friends. May you stop and wonder along the way, reflect and your life and look to the future with hope and joy. My hope is that you too may find joy in the small places and see them as glimpses of the larger grace of life that we all experience.

* We bought a butternut squash at the grocery store is week. There is something about about the oddly shaped squash that endears me to it. The added bonus is that you can roast them with absolutely nothing on them and they have the sweetest, nutty flavor. I am serious. They are like candy for me.

*Nonfat, decaf, extra hot, pumpkin spice latte. They are like happiness in a cup. Seriously. I do not go in for fouffy, flavored drinks. I know many people love them but they are just not my deal. I do not wait for the egg nogg latte, I am not about the caramel, soy, butterscotch, mochachino or what ever they are that people love. I am a black coffee girl all the way with a slight variation of a non-fat, extra-hot, decaf latte on just the rarest occasion. But, there was something about this drink that called to me this week. It seriously tasted like fall in a cup. I am not saying I will be a regular of this drink and hold countdown parties or anything but, it was delicious.

*My bright orange silk scarf. This scarf was given to me in college by my boss, Mrs. Bradley. She was absolutely the kindest woman one could want to know. I have been a scarf lover for quite awhile, so she gave me two beautiful silk scarves from Indonesia. I wear them often and think of her.

* Minestrone soup around the dinner table with my wonderful family. I completely understand the recent trend of open, over-sized kitchen spaces. Life happens around food and in the warm, comfort of the kitchen.

september...where did it go?

2010-10-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

It looks like I missed the month of September entirely. I am not quite sure what happened except to say "Parables." I have written a paper and a sermon and have a paper to go before the end of October.

September is a wonderful month. It is the month of my sister and my brand-new brother. They are fantastic. yeah...pretty much...their birthdays are only several days apart. I think that is pretty cool, it is almost like my parents who are 1 day (and a couple of years) apart.

Happy Birthday, Aleece and Matt!!!!

I am a cheater. This picture was from Disney Land, last year. But, how often does one get to see Mickey and Minnie Mouse? I love it. They are so cute.

all you need is love

2010-08-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred." Martin Luther King Jr
"I have a dream" speech - delivered August 28, 1963

Brilliant, poingnent, filled with sadness and hope. It is 47 years later and we still have a long, long, long way to go.

The past few weeks, it seems that on facebook and in the blog world, I have gotten a good does of hate. I am not sure if people would have labeled it as hate or even recognized the words they wrote as hateful but I have been struck by the hate, the judgment, the condemnation. My heart has hurt. I have felt myself grow cold in response. I have noticed the same hate, the same bitterness, the same need to be right. Hate is like that...it breeds and grows and is spread. It is a disease. A terrible, infectious disease. I have more to say but it is still raw and I want to say it well.

This is what I know. God is love. Love is greater than hate, it stand and looks in the face of hatred and wins...always. All I need is the example of Jesus to know this is true.

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.

1 John 4:18-21 - The Message

Another thing to remember on this day is that there are a whole lot of slaves in the world. There are a whole lot of slaves here in the land of the free. Most likely, there are people in slavery that live near you. The bottom line is this: you are either against slavery or you are for it. I do not want to hear you are against slavery and that you think it is sad and wrong. Lets all look at our lives, our actions - they are what we actually believe. So, are you against slavery?

in the event that you have yet to figure this out...

2010-08-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

...my blog has become my recipe book. I do not bother writing recipes down because I loose them. I wonder to myself where I placed it and then spend days or weeks looking for that one recipe I made that one time that was tasty. Yes, with the advent of blogging, nifty labels, and forgetfulness - was that invented or is it one of those things that has always been - I post them here. So, if you are tired of my recipes, I am sorry. You are getting two more tonight. But, on the up side. I did actually take pictures of the food this time. The second recipe's pictures are actually taken of the left-overs. Yes, I pulled them out of the fridge not 10 min. ago to take a picture of them. So...here is some food that we ate and enjoyed.

Black Bean and Mango Tostadas
This recipe has been adapted from The Cooking Couple. When I say adapted, I truly mean adapted. I am, as you know, my grandmother's granddaughter. I rarely follow a recipe without modifying it...sometimes it is out of necessity and other times it is because I think my way will be better.

Last weekend my mother came to visit. She was going to make her famous Lemon Ricotta Pancakes for dinner so I planned to make lunch. It is always SO much fun to cook with her because we chat and chop and chat and chop. I suppose this is a good time to give the warning about cooking the tortillas. WATCH THEM! They burn QUICKLY. Lets just say that at one point my sweet husband and my sweet mother took turns "venting" the smoke alarm with a magazine. When everything was ready, we put lunch one the table so everyone could serve themselves. As we were getting ready to eat, my mother and I both shout "wait!" and run to get our respective cameras so we can take pictures. It was one of those sad, scary moments in which you realize that you just have to embrace the fact that you ARE your mother. So, I am pleased and surprised that I am the first of the two of us to post this recipe with pictures. =) I love you, Momma!!!

Ingredients:
Corn tortillas
1 can of black beans, rinsed and drained and heated up
1 mango, peeled and chopped
1 peach, chopped (with the skin)
1/2 Zucchini, grated (with the skin)
1 Orange Bell pepper or any bell pepper of choice. (with the skin)
4-5 TBS green onions
2 tomatoes, chopped (with the skin)
Fresh cilantro, chopped
spinach, shredded
3/4 avocado, chopped
1 TBS Garlic Powder
Lime wedges (to squeeze on top of the tostadas)
Salsa, if desired

1. Turn the broiler on high. Spray corn tortillas with the olive oil cooking spray. Place on a baking sheet. Put corn tortillas in the oven until crispy, about five-seven minutes. I checked them constantly and flipped them a few times to make sure they were evenly crisp.

2. Heat your Black Beans on the stove for 5 min and season with a smidge of Garlic Powder.

3. While the beans are cooking, peel and chop (as needed) the ingredients for the filling. I recommend dumping them into a mixing bowl as you go and stirring with a wooden spoon at the end.

4. Serve with the freshly toasted tortillas and garnish with a lime wedge for

Mushroom and Poblano Vegetarian Enchiladas
Recipe adapted from September 2010 Better Homes and Gardens p196

The first time I saw this recipe was a couple of weeks ago at my other mother's house (Josh's wonderful mom). I spotted it right away because it looked delicious and it was vegetarian. I suppose the postal service likes the Whitlers better because their magazine comes several days before my mother's and grandmother's magazines. When my mother got her magazine, she called me to tell me about the delicious looking vegetarian recipes in this month's edition. Seriously, we talk recipes A LOT. I, of course, knew about all the wonderful recipes I was waiting for our magazine to arrive. Now, many days later, I have made the recipe. As usual, I will include it with my modifications. The L-W's enjoyed their dinner tonight.

Ingredients:
6oz firm tofu, cubed
1 small poblano pepper
EVOO
8 oz baby portabello mushrooms, chopped
1 tsp + 3 pinches cumin
1/4 c reduced fat sour cream + 2TBS (for sauce)
1 c shredded Monterrey Jack cheese
8 corn tortillas
1/2 can tomato sauce

Directions:
1. Drain tofu; cut in cubes. Stem and seed poblano. (be careful) Cut into strips.
2. Heat skillet with 1 TBS EVOO over medium heat. Add tofu, peppers, mushrooms, cumin, dash salt. Cook 8-10 min, or until the peppers are tender. Make sure to stir occasionally.
3. Stir in sour cream and 1/2 of the cheese.
4. Preheat oven to 400 and spray your baking dish.
5. Wrap tortillas in a damp paper towel and microwave for 30 - 45 seconds, until warm and soft.
6. Spoon filling into tortillas; fold over and place in prepared pan.
7. Heat tomato sauce on medium heat; add sour cream and whisk together. Add 3 pinches of cumin.
8. Pour sauce over enchiladas and top with the remaining cheese.
9. Bake for 15 min.

2010-08-21T11:40:00.000-07:00

The great Swiss theologian Karl Barth wrote, ‘A being is free only when it can determine and limit its activity.’ By that definition, I have a hard time counting many free beings among my acquaintance. I know people who can do five things at once who are incapable of doing nothing. I know people who can decide what to do without being able to do less of it. Since I have been one of these people, I know that saying no is a more difficult spiritual practice than tithing, praying on a cold stone floor, or visiting a prisoner on death row.

~Excerpt taken from Barbara Brown Taylor

Truth: I am convicted by this statement, compelled by this thought, and slightly fearful of its implications. I am not sure that many of us know how to take a sabbath. I tend to wonder if we are scared of it. I believe that if we practiced this discipline, it would change our life.

leftovers - finally uploaded pictures from the rehearsal and dinner

2010-08-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

I am known neither for my amazing picture taking abilities nor for being a speedy uploader of afore mentioned pictures. Her rehearsal was great fun. We laughed and practiced and came close to melting - thankfully we are not made of ice cream.

So, enjoy a few pre-wedding pictures.

Aleece and Matt - listening to Janice, the wedding coordinator, give instructions for the rehearsing.

Butler's Courtyard - It was beautiful

The Wedding Party minus the bride and groom. Everyone was getting oriented and figuring out where to stand.

Matt - waiting for Aleece to walk down the aisle. He is excited...just hiding it.

My flowers were gorgeous.

The father and the bride.

The parents and the bride.

The are being pronounced fake husband and wife but I think her hair looks cool as it swings behind her.

An all around not good picture.

Because sometimes you have to twirl.

summer foods

2010-08-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

Monday we made a spur-of-the-moment trip to San Antonio. Truthfully, it was not completely spur of the moment as we decided to make the trip the Friday before when Josh's computer screen cracked. The handy-dandy computer repair shop is in San Antonio...thus, the impromptu trip. We made it back to Huntsville on Wednesday afternoon by way of Conroe where Josh signed the contract at his new job. YAY!

When we got home, I was in the mood to cook. I have wanted to make gazpacho since eating some at Crickets a few weeks earlier. I looked at a dozen recipes before figuring out which one I wanted to make.

Here are a few things I have figured out about gazpacho. It is an art and not necessarily a science. Cliche...yes. However, the recipe is the science and no matter how I tried I had to add and taste, and add and taste. The recipes say you might want the flavors to sit overnight. This is not a might. It is a necessity. The longer this sits the better it is. Seriously. Today I ate some for lunch and it had a depth it was missing on Wednesday. So, make it and let it mellow before you eat it.

Gazpacho

6 ripe tomatoes, peeled and chopped
1/2 purple onion, finely chopped
1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, chopped
1 sweet red bell pepper (or green) seeded and chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
1-2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
3-4 TBS chopped fresh cilantro
2 Tbsp chopped fresh green onions
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice (I used lime juice and a bit of zest)
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon cocoa poweder
Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
12 or more drops of Tabasco sauce to taste
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (omit for vegetarian option)
4 cups tomato juice

Combine all ingredients. Blend slightly, to desired consistency. Place in non-metal, non-reactive storage container, cover tightly and refrigerate overnight, allowing flavors to blend.

Recipe modified from simplyrecipes.com

Later that night, my grandmother looked at me and said she would really like some chocolate. So, we looked for a recipe we could make that called for the ingredients we had in the house. After looking and looking, we settled on Blondie bars. We, of course, modified this recipe as well. I love cooking with my grandmother because we cook the same way...we substitute and modify. The major modification we made on this recipe was the addition of chocolate chunks in place of butterscotch chips. That was a no brainer for us. Who wants butterscotch chips when one can add chocolate instead. The bars are wonderful. Make them. You will not be disappointed.

We did not make it with pictures of these. That happens sometimes.

Blondie Bars

2 cups whole wheat (or white wheat) flour
¾ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1½ cups light brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chunks (or 12 ounces chocolate, chopped)
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut (I think it would be better roasted)

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Spray a 9x13 baking pan and set aside

Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Beat the butter on a medium speed until smooth. Add both sugars and beat for another 3 min. You want the sugar to be well incorporated.

Add the eggs one at a time. Mix for 30 - 45 seconds. You want them well mixed in but you do not want to over beat the eggs.

Reduce the speed to low and add the dry ingredients mixing until it disappears into the batter. (Again, do not over-beat.)

Use a rubber spatula to stir in the chips, nuts, and coconut. Scrape the batter into the pan and even the mixture as best as you can. (The batter is thick.)

Bake for 35-40 min, or until it passes the knife test. The blondies will pull away from the slide...ever so slightly. Cool and eat.

Recipe adopted and adapted from www.browneyedbaker.com

2010-08-17T09:09:00.001-07:00

"Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken."
~Rich Mullins

aleece and matty's wedding

2010-08-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

Last week was my sister's wedding. It was lovely. It was hot. We had a grand time celebrating their promise. Aleece looked lovely. I think she might have been the loveliest bride I have ever seen. She was so beautiful.

The venue my sister was married at was perfect. Seriously, Janice, the owner, is a rock-star. If you are looking for a place to get married in the Houston area, THIS is your place. Janice took pictures at the wedding and sent us a few.

It was fun to see a picture of me and Josh together. He looks so handsome in his tux. Ever so often we clean up nice.

2010-08-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

The whole purpose of the Bible, it seems to me, is to convince people to set the written word down in order to become living words in the world for God’s sake. For me, this willing conversion of ink back to blood is the full substance of faith.

- Barbara Brown Taylor, from her book, Leaving Church

left overs

2010-08-12T11:51:00.001-07:00

We all know that I am not so fantastic at uploading pictures from my camera to my computer. Sometimes I am on top of it and they are up in a flash. Sometimes the sit on my camera for weeks or months waiting to be rediscovered. Below, you might find some pictures from July...so, I think overall I am doing pretty well with getting pictures up to the blog. After all, I am only a little over a month behind.

New Mexico. This picture was taken from the road. I am pretty sure I was driving. In fact, I would have said with grand certitude that I was driving but if you notice that little black half-moon in the corner of the screen then you will see Josh's hat. This means that he was driving and I was taking the pictures. Still, New Mexico was beautiful. Arizona did not have much going for it but hello New Mexico.

Josh is looking out at the Colorado river from the top of the Grand Canyon. It was amazing, humbling, to look around at the grandeur of the canyon and then look down at the small little river whose life carved the canyon. I love being at the Grand Canyon because it never fails to put one in her place. You can not help but feel small. You can not help but feel the bigness of creation that surrounds you. ***Sidenote - it was pretty cool that we crossed the same river at different points two other times during our journey.

He loves me...he really loves me.

Closer to the edge than was comfortable for me. Scared out of my mind.

He was not photo shopped in. It almost looks like he was but I promise I have the grey hairs and ulcers to prove it. I did not breath and dared any of the people around us to breathe as well.

she is getting married tomorrow

2010-08-06T06:01:00.001-07:00

This morning I am quiet. Pensive. Happy. She is getting married tomorrow. We are driving to League City in a bit so that all the fun that swirls around the big promise can begin. She is getting married tomorrow. I am so happy for them.

banana bread - a new to us recipe

2010-07-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering, it seems that when I am not working, I cook. I feel like I have cooked more in the past week than I would cook in a month. It seems that I am perpetually washing dishes. Please do not hear this as a complaint. I like to cook. I really do not mind washing dishes...I know, strange. It is as if that that was interesting in my life besides cooking has suddenly vanished...So, I talk about cooking.

Tonight Josh and I went for a walk. It was hot - much earlier than I usually go. That is the thing about Texas in the summer...it is HOT. Yes, all caps hot. I was tired when I came back in to get some water. So, naturally, I did what any other person would do. I decided to cook. I made banana bread. Did I use our tried and true, tested by the ages family recipe? Nope, I used one from Paula Dean instead. (With a few minor changes...of course)

Maybe I will post pictures later...It is still in the oven. What I can say is that the batter was delicious.

Banana Bread - As adapted from Paula Dean

Ingredients:
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (ish...I am liberal with the vanilla)
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour (1/2 white and 1/2 wheat - I know, I was soft tonight.)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions
Combine Dry Ingredients
Combine butter, sugar, and vanilla. Add eggs and beat only as necessary. Add bananas.
Add the dry ingredients (again, beat only as necessary...one should not over beat their eggs)
Fold in Walnuts.

I found it odd that she did not include any spices. I kept with the spirit of her bread and did not add spices either. We shall see how it is.

My mother is making a blueberry crumble from The Pioneer Woman. I am sure it will be delicious and I am sure she will post pictures and recipe when she is done. Check out her blog tomorrow or the next day.

******PS - It was delicious. This may be a new favorite recipe. If you are on the fence, make it and try it.

happy birthday - jules

2010-07-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today is my friend Julia's Birthday!

Happy Birthday Friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-26T12:26:00.002-07:00

My grandmother's sister, Una Vee, came to visit this past weekend. She lives in Frisco and does not to get to come to visit my grandmother very often. Of course we wanted to play while she was here so we did some hard-core cooking before she arrived. I have been promising to post recipes so here goes....

This recipe is for the Enchiladas. They were yummy. So, so yummy. I did not take a picture of this dish as it was gobbled up after church yesterday while Josh and I were still at church. Ok, so it was not completely gobbled up but it was not picture pretty after it was eaten off of. As usual, this is a vegetarian dish and I have worked to make it healthier because that is what I do. Mine is also less spicy because my grandmother can not handle too much heat. If you want the original recipe, check out The Pioneer Woman.

Enchiladas

Ingredients:
For the Sauce
1Tbs Canola Oil
1 Tbs Flour
28oz Enchilada Sauce
2C Veggie Broth
1tsp Black Pepper and Salt (I did not add the salt)
2Tbs Chopped Cilantro

For the UnMeat
1pkg Meatless Ground
1 med onion chopped
2 cans diced green chilies (I only added 1/2 can)
1tsp cumin
a dash of chili powder
a bell pepper (of any color chopped)

To Assemble
3c Cheddar Cheese
1/2c Black Olives
1c Green Onions
1c Chopped Cilantro

Preparation Instructions
1. Numero Uno
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, add the oil and flour together. Whisk constantly to make a paste for 2 min.
Add the enchilada sauce, veggie broth, cilantro, salt (if you want), and pepper.
Bring to a boil
Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for 30-40 min (or until you finish the other steps and are ready for the sauce.)

2. Numero Dos
Saute the onion and bell pepper until soft.
Add the meatless ground, a bit of veggie broth (as it is needed), and the spices
Cook for a few min so the spices mix into the meatless ground.

3. Numero Tres
Wet a towel until it is damp/wet and not dripping. You want the towel to be wet enough to steam the tortillas in the microwave but not too wet. (It sounds vague, do not worry, you will be fine...just wring out any extra water.)
Put 5 corn tortillas inside the towel (lay the towel flat, put the tortillas in a stack on one side, fold it over like a hamburger not hot dog, and then fold the sides. This will make a pouch but it does not have to be really tight.)
Microwave the tortillas for 20 - 40 seconds
Pull out one tortilla at a time and follow the next steps.

Pour 1/2 c of sauce into the baking dish
Pull out 1 tortilla at a time
Using a cooking paint brush, paint one side of the tortilla with sauce
Add some of the un-meat mixture, cheese, green onions, and olives
Roll the tortilla and place in baking sheet seam down
Repeat this process until the heated tortillas are used. Then, heat the remaining tortillas and repeat as well.
When all ten tortillas have been stuffed and rolled, pour the remaining sauce on top of the pan and top with the remaining cheddar cheese.

Bake @ 350 for 30 min

way to go walmart

2010-07-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

For all the sins of the Wal-Mart corporation - and lets be honest, they are many - here is to one step, one wonderful, important, life-changing, world changing step in the right direction.

If you happen to be one of the many Wal-Mart shoppers out there, if you happen to be a coffee drinker, if you happen to think that slavery is...well...WRONG. Then, this is the coffee for you. It comes in both whole bean (our choice) as well as ground. There are several roasts. We have not tried it yet but we are ALL about supporting corporations who are making the right choice.

So, consider buying this coffee or any other kind that is fair trade. (Notice the black and white symbol on the front. If a company goes to the trouble of being Fair Trade Certified they are not going to hide the label by sticking it on the back. Nope, it will go on the front in a prominent place that advertises to the world: This coffee was not picked by little children who are owned by other people. This coffee's beans were picked by an adult of working age who is earning a fair day's wage for his/her work.) We, as people should not support slavery. I know this is often my rally cry but I pretty much will keep talking about it until it is abolished. Until the rest of the world gets off their asses and says SLAVERY IS NOT OK and quits their implicit support buy purchasing products which are made by men, women, children in slavery.

It is NOT ok.

IT IS NOT OK.

And what is worse, we trade our own dignity, we trade everything we say we believe in, we trade a piece of our humanity by turning a blind eye. Lets do something. This has to change and WE can change it.

the Lord's prayer, metaphor, communion

2010-07-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Josh is preaching at Caldwell Presbyterian Church on Sunday morning. As we do not know this church, he is preaching on this Sunday's Gospel passage from the Revised Common Lectionary. It it the Lukan version of the Lord's Prayer. While I do not always enjoy "losing" my husband to sermon writing, I do our discussions when he is writing a sermon. His study of a passage usually encourages me to take a closer look and study as well. Typically we see completely different things from the same passage but that is the work of the Holy Spirit teaching us individually and truly part of the fun. Earlier this week, I came across a blog that included several creative translations/paraphrases/interpretations of the Lord's Prayer. Certainly, and by no means, do these replace the words of scripture. Instead I found that they helped me to change my lens that can get blurred and cloudy so that I read/think the familiar words without stopping to feel, meditate on, and be impacted by their meaning. I read them and walk away neither changed nor even thinking of them. While I am quite certain this is a problem unique to me, I will thank you for humoring me as I include a rendition from the
New Zealand Prayer Book that caused me to stop, think, and see the words of Jesus with new and different eyes.

The Lords Prayer
The New Zealand Prayer Book

Eternal Spirit
Earth-Maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver,
source of all that is and that shall be,
Father and Mother of us all.
Loving God, in whom is heaven.
The hallowing of your name echoes through the universe!
The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the earth!
Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!
Your commonwealth of peace and freedom
sustain our hope and come on earth.
With the bread we need for today, feed us.
In the hurts we absorb from one another, forgive us.
In times of temptation and test, spare us.
From the grip of all that is evil, free us.
For you reign in the glory of the power that is love,
now and forever.

Amen.

As I read this again, I am struck by the metaphor used to describe God...After all, isn't that the best we have anyway - metaphor. At our very best, God is indescribable. He is greater than our words, our pictures, and conceptions. He is, after all, God. So, we reach up and grasp at words that can in some small way contain our experience with the divine. We need them. Not in the idolatrous way of the children of Israel who fashioned unto themselves a golden calf to worship. Rather we reach for words to describe because our deepest desire is for communion with God. We want to be filled and connected. We want to know and be known. We worship the God we do not see and we long for to be near to God. We look around and see our God. Not because nature is God but because we see our God in the creation. We see our God in one another. We need only to look around and see God but this too is not the fullness of God, only glimpses.

The Late-Great Rich Mullins had a beautiful was of capturing God through metaphor in his words and music. His songs pointed us toward that which was created as well as the creator. I pray that our eyes are continually opened to God. We never fully know, instead we continue to reach for deeper communion and find that all the while God has been reaching for communion with us.

The Color Green - one of my favorite songs.

family, thunderstorms, and fire

2010-07-17T20:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight we were driving from Houston back to Huntsville. Yes, we started the day in San Antonio. Yes, we had a day in which we were able to hug both sets of parents on the SAME day.

Wow.

Epic.

Anyway, we left my parents house to head back to Huntsville and we had one of those, you KNOW you are in Texas moments. We were in the driveway getting ready to leave as the sky grew darker and darker, from what seemed like nowhere the wind kicked up and was blowing. Then, the rain came. Big Raindrops. Thunder. Lightening.

We hugged my parents and drove away. The rain was hard and heavy but did not last too long. Before we were half way to Huntsville, it had stopped and the sky was the blue/grey color it is after an evening rain shower.

As we drove, evening turned to night and just before we hit Huntsville (right about the rest stop for the natives) we saw a great fire on the opposite side of the road. I was not easy to miss in the darkness. It was big and bright. We saw it and immediately were concerned. We talked about it for a few minutes when I picked up the phone to call the highway patrol.

After living in CA for the past few years, we know better then 'mess around' with fire. Fire is serious business. Especially when it is in a forest and near so many trees that could easily catch fire and share the flame with one another...much in the way preschoolers share communicable diseases.

So, I am on Joshua's phone calling the highway patrol. Try to explain to the dispatcher where I am and where the fire is and its size. The man waits patiently before telling me he knows all about it and it is a controlled fire. I, not quite understanding a 'controlled fire' these days, again explain to him that it is a VERY BIG fire and near quite a lot of trees. Again, he explains that he knows and it is a controlled fire. I listen, thank him, and say goodbye.

I look over at Josh and matter-of-factly explain that it is a 'controlled fire.' He was much quicker on the up-take tonight, immediately understood, and responded, "oh."

As we drove in silence for a bit, I mused to myself that a large fire is not a big deal in Texas.

And, yes, Virginia we are not in California anymore.

Love and Goodnight,

Amy

2010-07-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Joshua and I were talking about the truth and lies we as people believe and how each of those effects and informs what we believe and the way we have faith. We have both noticed some disturbing trends in the way people of faith interact with truth and perceived truth. As we talked we did not exactly find agreement...but, that is ok for us. There is something in the words of our dear friend, Emily that ring true for me. Inside of me there is a belief that change happens slowly, gradually, a drop at a time.

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant

by Emily Dickinson

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind---

one person does make a difference

2010-07-16T08:32:00.001-07:00

my friends Robyn and Jim are rock-stars. I am not sure if there is even a better word to describe them. In their spare time they have been working to stop slavery...ya know the kind we think of that was abolished a long-time ago...yeah, that kind. And, if it even gets worse, this would be slavery of children....the little people who are supposed to see the world with eyes of hope and wonder. The little people Jesus told the rest of us to attention to and learn from so we could have faith as well...Yeah, them!

So, PLEASE check out her blog post. Write, call, email, fax, send smoke signals... to your congressional representative and let them that slavery is STILL NOT OK.... And, if you think you can not make a difference, read their story. If you think you can not make a difference, remember the parable of the the mustard seed. My friends, all it takes is a little bit of faith. God usually does the heavy lifting...we are called to be faith and act on it...that whole faith without actions thing...ya know if you say you have faith but you sit on your butt and do nothing then you do not actually have faith....

Check her blog out here.

texas and cooking

2010-07-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

Perhaps this notice is a little late...like 6 days or so....

We made it to Texas

I will post some pictures and thoughts on our trip later...hopefully. We are getting settled in at my Grandmother's house and waiting for our worldly possessions to arrive. Friday of last week was the first day they could arrive. We haven't heard much from the moving company but I am going with the motto that no news is good news. So, we wait.

While I have been here, I have been cooking. It is seriously hotter than the hinges of hell. I know I grew up in Texas but I forgot the oppressive heat...or, maybe I blocked it out. Either way it is hot outside. It does NOT cool down at night, and the breeze is not cool either. It is cold inside because everyone is blasting their air to escape the heat. As a result, I have been making salads...lots and lots of salads. I haven't wanted to cook anything that required heat so salads are the food of choice. For lunch I made a Tomato Avocado Salad. I meant to take a picture of it but everyone was hungry and it disappeared. If I make it again, I think I would make it with a homemade tomato soup as well.

So, here is the picture-less Tomato Avocado Salad adapted from Martha Stewart. You will have to take me word on how pretty it was. The side note is that I did not use Martha's suggested salad dressing. Instead I used the dressing listed below which is from a favorite, Crickets.

Later tonight I will try to make some Ratatouille. Josh and I ate some the other night with our friends Kevin and Leah. I have been wanting some ever since, this is my first attempt. I am not afraid to make it again if I need to get it right. I Might make

Tomato Avocado Salad
Serves 4 (It really served 3 b/c Josh was eating)

Ingredients:
*1 ear corn (husk and silk removed; tip cut off) - I cooked it in the oven in foil with a little butter and chili powder.
* 2 pints cherry, grape, or pear tomatoes, halved (or quartered if large)
* 1 1/2 avocado, halved, pitted,peeled, and diced
* 2 scallions, thinly sliced
* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* Coarse salt and ground pepper
* 1/2 can garbanzo beans

Directions:
Mix everything together. Drizzle dressing on-top and serve cool.

Dressing
1/8 c water
1/2 c olive oil
1/4 c red wine vinegar
1/4 + 1/8 c Dijon mustard
1/4 c snipped parsley
1 T roasted garlic
1/2 T of salt
1/2 T of sugar
1/2 T Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 lemon w/zest

Directions
Set aside 1/4 c olive oil
Roast garlic
Blend all ingredients and add last 1/2 c of olive oil by drizzling slowly to reach desired consistency.

***NOTE: As we were eating the salad, we decided some goat cheese would be a most lovely addition. I have not tried to do this but I will add that the next time i make this salad.

we'll tke this journey, you and me

2010-07-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Did you know my little sister is getting married? We missed her Hawaiian engagement by a couple of hours...I knew it was going to happen. It was all over Matthew's face and in his body language. I am not sure I would have recognized it in him but there was some unnamable quality that I saw in him during the trip. Josh had the same thing in him right before we were engaged. So I kept waiting for him to ask her, holding my breath at and yes, even stalking them as the took a walk on New Year's Eve. (Not in their view and for picture purposes only ;) I have been away from her for the whole planning portion of the wedding but we have talked back and forth. It has been fun to hear everything. We are 25 days away...

So, I will be completely honest. I heard this song on a commercial. It was not as effective as the company hoped because as I type this I have no clue what was advertised. I just know that I loved the song. I pulled it up read the lyrics and could not help but post it on my blog. For you, my blog readers, to enjoy.

Currently, Josh and I are in transition. We find ourselves in an unexpected portion of our adventure of sharing life together. But, we are together...just as the song says - "we'll take this journey, you and me." We try to have that attitude. Not to say that we are perfect. Not to say that it is always easy. But, that we have been given the great gift of sharing life with one another. That is my wish for my sister and Matt. That whatever happens, whatever comes their way, that the will be able to hold hands and take the journey together. It is simply a beautiful part of life - sharing it in the deepest way with another person.

Silver moons and paper dreams
Faded maps and shiny things
You're my favorite one-man show
A million different ways to go

Will you fly me away?
Take me away with you, my love

Painted scenes, I'm up all night
Slaying monsters, flying kites
Speak to me in foreign tongues
And share your secrets one by one

Will you fly me away?
Take me away with you, my love

Can hardly think what life was like
Before I had you by my side
Can't say what I'd do without you
Knowing what it's like to have you

Hidden walkways back in time
Endless stories, lover's crime
In my mind, I've been set free
We'll take this journey, you and me

Will you fly me away?
Take me away with you, my love

los angeles we leave you now

2010-07-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, a dear friend made me a cd with the random songs she was listening to at the time. This is not an unusual occurance from this friend. And, her gifts of music are always greatly appreciated. On one of the cd's she sent was a song by Peter Bradley Adams.

When I knew we were going to be leaving Los Angeles, this song began to play in the corners of my mind. I have thought of it often as we have packed. I have thought of it as we have said goodbye to places and people we have loved. I have listened to it from time to time but saved it for the morning we drove away from Los Angeles.

Our goodbye to Los Angeles, the place that has been our home

2010-07-10T12:08:00.001-07:00

It has been a few days since I have shared any goodbyes on this blog. It is not that the goodbyes have stopped - it is more that the busyness experienced in the past days has kept me from sharing my goodbyes and even processing them the way I should.

As I write this, I sit on the lovely porch of my other parents (the ones I have gained as an adult, the ones who belonged to my husband all of his life) in San Antonio, TX. I love to be at their house. It is quiet and spacious. It is a place I can just sit and think. Before we arrived here, the movers came, loaded up our worldly possessions and took them away. We spent our last night in Los Angeles on the floor of our apartment and awoke the next morning to begin our journey to Texas. Our journey was a grand adventure...but that is quite another story. Here are a few of the places, people, things, I have said goodbye to.

21 Choices....YUM...We all know that I LOVE ice cream and frozen yogurt. This has been a local fav from day 1. There just isn't anything that beats them. When we were dating, we always shared our frozen yogurt but sometime after marriage, we realized our folly and began to get our own. In some situations, one simply should not compromise. 21 Choices, I will miss your cold, creamy, goodness.

Huntington Gardens...The desert garden was my favorite although all my pictures seem to be of the Japanese Gardens. This was my place of green and peace in the middle of our concrete city.
Friendships - celebrations, dinners, life, laughter, and sharing good wine. She was my office mate, a deep thinker and a most dear friend. I loved her. I loved her family. I cried after we left their house for the last time. I will miss them SO much.

A friend of Joshua's who became my friend. We have shared conversations, dinners, movies, many round of Catan, and laughter. She was my walking partner and a chief birthday celebrator (after Joshua). We will miss Jenny and Brent.

We did not hike very much after we moved to Cerritos/Artesia. Still, SoCal had fantastic trails for wonderful hikes. Hiking together was one of our favorite activities. We would walk and walk and walk and fall and get dirty and enjoy the loveliest and most surprising pieces of nature in the middle of our great, big city.

goodbye, los angeles - avanti

2010-06-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

I know what you might be thinking...Seriously, you are saying goodbye to a Pizza place? A pizza place?

Well, yes, I am. I would be cliche to say that it isn't like any other pizza place...but in some ways it is true.

When Joshua and I were dating - before I moved to CA. He brought me to eat dinner at this Avanti and I have been hooked ever since. This is one place where I just can not bear for it to be the "last bite." Usually that is not a problem for me... I am sure that pretty much every knows that love good pizza. Like, I really love pizza. This pizza is special. It is made in a wood-burning brick oven and it is delicious. You can not look at all that pizza goodness and not go YUM.

We have eaten there dozens of times. Even though we have not lived in Pasadena for two years, we make a point to stop and eat there when we are in town. We have shared some serious conversations over pizza at that restaurant. We have laughed together and with good friends. We've taken both of our families there and we almost always hit it up when we have out of town guests. We spent a New Year's Eve there and celebrated Joshua's graduation from Fuller there. It is full of memories...our memories.

Goodbye, Avanti. You make one kickin' pizza, you have shared in moments of life I never want to forget. We will miss you.

goodbye, los angeles

2010-06-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

If you were to be a fly on a wall in the LW home you might hear us talking about “leaving well.” It has been an important concern on our minds and hearts the past few months. To leave well is more than simply packing all our worldly possessions into a truck and going. This is the place where we fell in love. This is the place we decided to join our lives together in the deepest partnership humankind can know. This is the place where we have been learning what it means to become family. In Los Angeles…in CA, we have friends with whom we have shared significant pieces of life. So, we have been saying goodbye. It has been painful – so, so painful. There is nothing more difficult than looking into the faces of friends and saying, not see you soon but goodbye. I have said goodbye more times than I want to….more times than I can count. We have cried. We have walked on land from places that are significant to us for the last time. We talk, we process, we think…and still we say goodbye.
I woke up really early the morning after I came back from TX and thought about how I could best process goodbyes. How could I say goodbye in such a way as to honor places and people who mean more than words? And, so I have come up with a series of blog posts. My “Goodbye – Los Angeles” posts. I have been working on them piece-meal for the past few day but these darned papers have taken precedence. After finishing one a bit ago, I decided to reward myself by writing a post or two.

So, you are invited to journey with me as I say goodbye to a place I have called home for the past four years. You are invited to see the places I’ll remember and the people I love. In this, our long goodbye.

time is ticking away

2010-06-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Can you say Crunch Time? Yes, I am feeling it. It is precisely in this time of crunching that I suddenly think of one million things I “need” to do. Like, a deep cleaning of my bathroom or alphabetizing our DVDs…

But here’s tha deal: The movers are coming on Wednesday, June 30th. Yes, that would be less than one week. YIKES. Here is our combined list… (Yes, I have more on my list than Joshua….but, I am the one who is making the list)

Congregational Studies Paper (Amy)
Exegesis Paper (Amy)
New Testament Essays (Amy)
New Testament Exam (Amy)
Congregational Studies Exam (Amy)
Ordination Exams (Joshua)
Selling our Refrigerator
Packing the whole house
Misc. pieces of life

Please, please pray for us! In a time of busyness it is easy to lose sight of what is important. It is easy to allow one’s anxiety to rise and easy to love one’s self more than one’s closest neighbor – spouse. Our prayer is not simply for completion as I am quite certain we can hold on tight and get it done. My prayer is that we achieve completion and continue to show love and grace along the way, that we are patient and kind when the other is less patient or has anxiety oozing out of every orifice. So, I ask you, our dear community, to pray for us as often as we come to your mind.

With Love,

Amy

juneteenth

2010-06-19T16:11:00.001-07:00

Juneteenth was as a dear friend of mine put it, "the final rescue if America's slaves." Slavery is wrong. It is despicable. That is truly the best I can do as there are simply not words for the horrors of all that it was and how we as a nation, a people still bear the marks. All of us bear the marks of the inhumanity of slavery.

Today there are currently 27 million slaves in the world. Children. Little children. Women, Men, people...people who are owned by other people. People who's God image inside of them is fundamentally denied when the are treated without dignity. And, we lose something of our own humanity when we do not speak up and speak out. We lose something of our own humanity when we turn away from the injustice and 'forget.' We are supposed to take care of one another. We are supposed to speak out on behalf of one another. We are to care for our brother and sister.

On Feb 12, 1900, this song was first performed as a poem for President Lincoln's birthday. The words of the song/poem were written by school principal James Weldon Johnson. Whether you know this song or not, let the words wash over you. Have hope, be inspired, and let us end slavery - once and for all.

Lift every voice and sing,

'Til earth and heaven ring,

Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;

Let our rejoicing rise

High as the listening skies,

Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,

Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;

Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,

Let us march on 'til victory is won.

Stony the road we trod,

Bitter the chast'ning rod,

Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;

Yet with a steady beat,

Have not our weary feet

Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?

We have come over a way that with tears has been watered,

We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,

Out from the gloomy past,

'Til now we stand at last

Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.

God of our weary years,

God of our silent tears,

Thou who has brought us thus far on the way;

Thou who has by Thy might

Led us into the light,

Keep us forever in the path, we pray.

Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met Thee,

Lest, our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee;

Shadowed beneath Thy hand,

May we forever stand,

True to our God,

True to our native land.